Holiday Frenzy

Whew. Yesterday was a long, exhausting day, made worse because of my holiday panic! December is always hectic, but losing a full week last week really did me in. I'm trying very hard to calm down and rest today.

I drove to New Jersey yesterday to see my Lyme doctor. I told him how badly flared up I've been all fall (CFS, not Lyme). I updated my charts before my appointment, and it was eye-opening (I keep track of how I feel each day). I was severely crashed and unable to do anything - 4 or 5 in my ratings - 30% of the time in September, 50% in October, and 30% in November. My knees have hurt a lot this past week, but I'm getting frustrated that I can't really tell whether it's Lyme or just because my CFS has been so bad. My doctor was very zen when I fretted, "How will I know when the Lyme is gone when I can't tell what's CFS and what's Lyme?" He said, "You knew when it started. You'll know when it's gone." Meanwhile, I'm still on 400 mg of doxycycline a day (16 months now) and he wants me to start on Plaquonil, which should help my knee pain and also help the antibiotics to better pentrate my cells.

After my appointment, I went shopping at Target for 90 minutes. There's a Target right next to the doctor's office, and the nearest one in Delaware is about 25 minutes away, so this has become part of my NJ routine. The store was packed with holiday shoppers, and I was trying to get as much Christmas shopping done as I could because I knew I might not be able to get out again. So, I didn't get home (a 90-minute drive) until 2:30, way past my usual nap time.

Then, we went to Craig's holiday concert last night. He plays percussion in his middle school band and did an awesome job on the bells in Carol of the Bells and in the lead role for Little Drummer Boy! As you can imagine, I was totally wiped out by the time we got home at 9 pm.

I was also mentally freaking out yesterday. There's a bunch of stuff we need done THIS week because we leave at noon on Friday to celebrate Christmas with my family this weekend. And Craig's teachers sent a note home yesterday that he needs to bring in 30 cookies for a cookie exchange on Friday! I slept horribly last night, with visions of Christmas shopping and other tasks undone dancing in my head.

I'm trying hard to calm myself down today. I'm dressed in sweats (a signal that I don't intend to leave the house or even the couch today). I can't give in and do nothing, but I'm lying on the couch with my laptop. Even though it's probably insane, I'm going to try to finish our annual year-end DVD of photos today, so I can give my family copies this weekend. I know I might not finish, and I'm resigned to that, but I know from past experience that if I don't do it before January 1, it probably won't get done.

I realized last night that there's really only 1 day all year when I really take the day off and don't worry about getting anything done - Christmas Day. On Christmas, it's just the four of us, here at home, with nothing to do but play and no where to go. I can't wait! But one day a year is really not enough, is it?

OK, it's time to stop venting. Breathing deeply...