I have really been enjoying my week of solitude and couple-dom with Ken while the kids are away. In fact, I feel almost guilty about it! (almost) My sister keeps saying how much she misses her daughter (my 8-year old niece is also along on the so-called Grandchildren's Cruise this week). It's not that I don't miss Jamie and Craig - they're both wonderfully loving boys and I enjoy their company - but I am truly enjoying this brief respite of taking care of only myself.
During the summer, with the boys home from school, I have no quiet time at all to myself, except for my afternoon nap. And it's rarely just our two boys at our house; most often, there are two or more extra boys here as well! I absolutely love that my boys want their friends here and that their friends feel comfortable in our home, but it does make for a noisy, chaotic summertime!
Yesterday, I was suddenly struck by a burst of overwhelming joy during a rather mundane moment. As I've written before, I've always felt fairly happy and content with my life, but sometimes I just feel filled with joy. Yesterday, I was driving to the mall to visit the Apple Store (still trying to transfer all my stuff from the old computer to the new one - I LOVE the Genius Bar!). I felt pretty good, it was a nice day (less than 90 degrees!), the sun was shining, and I was singing along to the radio. It was a rather ordinary moment, but I just felt joyful!
I think that CFS has made me more open to simple joys. I've found that when I spend so much time at home, going out in the world can feel like such a treat - oh, boy, a drive in the car! And ordinary interactions with strangers - the cashier at the grocery store, the clerk at the library - feel delightful and fun. I had a blast driving to the mall, browsing in the bookstore, and talking to the guy behind the Genius Bar at Apple! Of course, by the time I returned home, I was tired and grateful for the quiet house, but these moments of joy are so satisfying.
I have had Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) since March 2002. Both of my sons also got ME/CFS at ages 6 and 10. Our younger son fully recovered after 10 years of mild illness. Our older son still has ME/CFS and also has Lyme disease plus two other tick infections. This blog is about how our family lives with chronic illness, with a focus on improving our conditions and enjoying our lives in spite of these challenges.
Sue, I totally agree with you. CFS has made me more open to simple joys as well. A couple of days ago I'd walked out to pick something up from a friend at the gate of my apartment complex.
ReplyDeleteIt was warm and sunny, with a lovely cool breeze blowing the trees. I stood for a moment looking up at the branches swaying and was just filled with joy.
Joy that the weather was beautiful and I was at last able to enjoy it without being afraid of the heat. Joyful that my new apartment is in such a beautiful complex, filled with older trees and little courtyards. It was a wonderful moment.
I'm so happy for your moments of overwhelming joy. Yayyy!
As you know from my book, Sue, I feel the same way. Having had to live such a restricted life has allowed me to find joy tucked away in the most unexpected places.
ReplyDeleteOn example. A few years ago, our town decided to put in a couple of roundabouts to slow the flow of traffic. People still complain about them in our local paper. But the first time I was able to drive our car (it had been a couple of years), I got to one of the roundabouts and I felt like I was on the Autopia at Disneyland. I had a big smile on my face at this delightful little circle right in the middle of an intersection!
I'm so glad that you're enjoying this little respite from parenthood!
I agree with you, I love it when those moments sneak up on me and surprise me. I'm more open to them with CFS, I think. And it's nice that you're enjoying time without the kids; gotta prepare for the eventual empty nest, and it's nice to know you enjoy your husband's company enough that you'll be all right.
ReplyDeleteActually, your post was a moment of joy for me! Ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI so agree with you!
I agree with Dominique....your post is a joy to read! Gives me pause and helps me to remember to be joy-full with the many blessings I have in my life...big and small...we do appreciate things more when CFS is a part of our lives...We just had 24 hrs with our daughter and 3 kids...it was such a joy...24 hrs together after 8 months seperation...what fun! what joy! Precious time to savor and enjoy. Your attitude is always a blessing, Sue.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful!! :-) :-)
ReplyDeleteVery wonderful! I think we get really good at appreciating things. I feel delighted just to do something normal that other people might pass by.
ReplyDeleteIt's a real relief when the heat lets up, too.
D.