TV Tuesday: American Crime

Having heard rave reviews of the ABC drama American Crime, my husband and I started watching it this second season (which has just recently wrapped up). My husband found it a bit too disturbing (it's not at all graphic but does deal with some sensitive topics like male rape), but I was riveted for the full ten episodes.

American Crime (not to be confused with American Crime Story which is airing a re-enactment of the OJ case) is a wholly unique show, unlike anything else I have ever seen on TV before. Each season, it tackles a different crime, with an entirely different set of characters and location, and it delves into myriad issues that are relevant to our society today. Timothy Hutton and Felicity Huffman are the lead actors in the show, but they play completely different characters each season. So, essentially, each season stands on its own as a sort of mini-series. I haven't watched season 1 yet, but the synopses I read say it deals with the court trial of a home invasion that resulted in the death of a war hero who may have had some secrets in his life.

Season 2 takes place in Indiana and aims to capture a typical American Midwest town. In the first episode, a high school boy named Taylor goes to a party and later admits that he was drugged and sexually assaulted. Taylor lives with his single mom, who works as a waitress, and is a scholarship student at the prestigious Leyland School, a private school where most of the students come from wealthy, upper-class families. The party that Taylor went to was an annual tradition: the Captain's Party, hosted by the two captains of the school's championship basketball team. It's the kind of thing that most parents and school administrators know about but look the other way. Photos of Taylor from the party - in which he looks drunk and half-naked - circulate on social media, triggering the crisis.

In that first episode, the main characters are introduced, including the boys on the basketball team, especially the two captains, Eric and Kevin. The basketball coach is played by Timothy Hutton, and his wife, the art teacher at Leyland, is played by Hope Davis. Leyland's principal - a completely unsympathetic character - is played by Felicity Huffman. Taylor's hardworking mom is played by Lili Taylor. Eric's and Kevin's parents are also introduced, as well as other important characters. The acting - from the big name actors as well as the lesser known teens - is absolutely superb.

As each episode unfolds, the show digs deeper into the story, as secrets and lies are uncovered. The details of the assault are revealed gradually, although even by the end, it remains a matter of who do you believe? That event triggers an avalanche of effects that reverberate throughout the entire community, eventually leading to some tragic consequences. Leyland, the private, mostly white school, is contrasted with the local public school, where incidents of racial violence break out and the multi-racial administrators struggle to maintain control. The media and the police are also involved throughout the story.

American Crime tackles all kinds of important issues in our society in a way that highlights the gray areas. This second season addresses issues of race, sexual orientation, and class and highlights our biases and prejudices (it seems the first season, though focusing on an entirely different crime, has a similarly broad and thoughtful approach). Nothing is clear-cut here, and the viewer is constantly caught off-quard, wondering who to believe and who are the good guys.

This is a TV show of the highest quality, with excellent acting, realistic writing, and situations that mirror the complexities of real life, with no easy answers. It's a crime show where you never even see the faces of the detectives and lawyers - regular citizens are the focus here, including crime victims, perpetrators, and everyone else affected by the crime(s). If there was a book group equivalent for TV shows, American Crime would be the perfect show for a group discussion - the issues introduced here are complex and thought-provoking. And if you only like stories that wrap up all the loose ends with a nice, happy ending, then this one probably isn't for you. I can't wait to see what they come up with for season 3 (and I still need to go back and watch season 1).

American Crime airs on ABC. The second season has ended, and the last half of it is still available On Demand and on Hulu, and the last few episodes are available at ABC's website. It doesn't seem to be available on Netflix. Both season 1 & season 2 are available at Amazon for $19.99 (or $1.99 per episode). If you missed the start of season 2 and don't want to pay for it, then you will have to wait for season 3 - you don't want to miss this one!



    

TV Tuesday: The Americans

My husband and I were excited last week by the return of one of our favorite TV shows, The Americans, for its fourth season. It just gets better and better!

This FX show takes place in 1980's Washington, DC.  Elizabeth and Phillip Jennings run a travel agency together and seem like a typical suburban family, with their kids Henry and Paige. There is nothing typical about them, though. They are both Soviet Union spies who were sent to the U.S. when they themselves were teenagers to grow up here, get married, and become imbedded as spies who appear like any other American couple.

So, they get up in the morning, feed the kids and take them to school, maybe stop in at the travel agency for a while, and have dinner with their kids in the evening. In between, though, at all hours, one or both of them might be out on an assignment, wearing a disguise and gathering information - perhaps sleeping with a politician or meeting up with another spy or even killing someone who has gotten too close to their secret. It's all very thriller-ish, packed with action and sometimes sex and violence, while on the surface, they live this sedate, "normal" life.

Challenges are constantly coming up, from finding out that their neighbor works for the CIA to their teen daughter getting hooked on religion and joining a church. There are crosses and double-crosses, hidden secret lives, plus inside looks at what is happening within the CIA and inside the Russian embassy. One of the most amazing things about this unique show is that the viewer is witness to both sides of the Cold War, but you find yourself rooting for the main characters, the Russian spies!

The acting on The Americans is superb. Elizabeth is played wonderfully by Keri Russell, who conveys both a passion for her country and strong belief in what she is doing but also maternal love for her children. Matthew Rhys plays Phillip...though you may not recognize him at first in many scenes! His disguises are plenty and very convincing. Even the actors who play the children are excellent, especially Paige, who by the third season (and her teen years) is starting to wonder about her parents' comings and goings at strange hours.

There is tremendous complexity to this show - it's a family drama and a spy thriller, an action-packed adventure that also delves deep into its characters' emotional lives. In addition, the setting is very well-done - it really feels like the 80's without being overdone. We loved it right from the very first episode - and it just keeps getting better.

Season 4 just began on FX so is available On Demand and on the FX website. It is also available for $1.99 an episode on Amazon Prime, and the first three seasons of The Americans is available for free on Prime (or for $20 a season/$1.99 an episode for non-Prime members).



         

Weekly Inspiration: For Friends & Family - What To Say

This TED talk popped up in my sidebar on Youtube this week, and it sounded (unlike some of Youtube's other suggestions for me) like something perfect for me. It was. Although the speaker is not chronically ill, she is recovering from the loss of a limb, so she understands a few things about physical disability, mourning, and grief...and the horrible things people say when they don't know what to say.

Adrianne Haslet-Davis was a victim in the Boston Marathon bombing and lost her foot and lower leg. In this talk, What People Say When They Don't Know What To Say, she describes some of the things friends and family said to her while she was in the hospital and working to recover and grieve her loss. No one with chronic illness will be surprised in the least by some of the horrible things people said to her. We've all been there - hearing a well-meaning loved one tell us how lucky we are or suggesting that vitamins could cure us or (my personal favorite) tell us that God never gives us more than we can handle.

Adrianne's experiences are similar (and sometimes, even worse), and here, she provides advice to friends, family, medical professionals, and caregivers on what to say:



This would be a great video to share with friends and family, but I think it is also helpful for patients enduring these kinds of ignorant comments. For one thing, it tells us that it isn't just US - that it is a universal experience for friends and family to not know what to say and to blurt out awkward, inappropriate, and even hurtful things. Adrianne also talks about where these horrible comments come from - she theorizes they come from a place of fear. I agree completely. I think one reason so many people have trouble dealing with those who are chronically ill is the constant reminder (perhaps even unconscious) that this horrible thing could happen to them, too. Yes, they love us and they want to help us, but deep down inside, it is terrifying to see a formerly lively, active loved one become so severely ill (which is also why so many of our loved ones gets mired in denial).

I've written previously about this topic in CFS and Family, The Invisible Wall, Helping Family Understand ME/CFS, and in my ProHealth article, Who Do You Tell and What Do You Say (kind of the opposite of Adrianne's talk here, about what we say to others).

What are your thoughts on the things people say? Share your experiences in the comment section, about what your loved ones have said to you or your own strategies for dealing with these kinds of comments.

Unique Gene Expressions in ME/CFS and Lyme Disease

Two recent studies have been published using the latest technology to analyze the genetic expressions in ME/CFS patients and those who have had and been treated for Lyme Disease, respectively.

In the ME/CFS gene expression study, they used 88 subjects - 42 with a diagnosis of ME/CFS and 38 healthy controls - to conduct a comprehensive study of the entire known genome to look for differences and distinct markers in the ME/CFS patients. They found 442 SNPs (pieces of known genetic material) associated generally with the ME/CFS patients, 12 of which were significantly in the coding region of the genome, with 2 of these being especially significant. They also identified 5 SNPs specifically related to T-cell receptors (a part of the immune system known to be dysfunctional in ME/CFS).

This is a very significant study, as it is the first one applying the advanced genetic analysis currently available to ME/CFS, but it is not the first genetic study of ME/CFS. Two earlier researchers began this process about 10 years ago. Dr. Kerr of Scotland headed up a genetic ME/CFS study whose preliminary results were published in 2008 of 25 patients and 50 healthy controls. Then, those genes that were different in the ME/CFS patients in the first round were analyzed in another 55 patients and 75 healthy controls (my blood was a part of this study! I worked through Dr. Enlander in NYC to donate my blood and participate in the surveys). Their results showed 88 genes showing different expression in the ME/CFS patients, many of these related to immune function or infections, which suggested 7 sub-types of ME/CFS.

Dr. Gow, also of Scotland, published a follow-up paper in 2009, building on Kerr's earlier work. This was a smaller study - only 8 patients and 7 controls - but went into greater depth. It found 366 genes with different expressions in ME/CFS patients versus healthy controls. Unfortunately, all of that ground-breaking work in Scotland came to a halt when funding dried up...so seeing this new study is a reason for celebration and hope!

However, even before the technology existed to do this kind of genome analysis, researchers knew that ME/CFS had genetic roots, just from observations of how often ME/CFS occurred in family members. Back in 2006, the New Jersey CFS Association did a population study of ME/CFS incidence in families with some startling results, showing both genetic and infectious roots for ME/CFS. In their study of 219 patients and their families, blood-related family members not in the same household as an ME/CFS patient had a 3 times greater chance of getting ME/CFS, those in the same household but not blood-related (like spouses) had an 8 times greater chance of getting ME/CFS, and those both blood-related and in the same household, like children, had a 13 time greater chance of getting ME/CFS than the general population! Wow. Is it any surprise that both of my sons got ME/CFS a couple of years after I did?

Back to the present, another new study was just published analyzing the genes of Lyme disease patients (29 patients and 13 controls) at the time of diagnosis and six months later, after treatment. It showed a different gene expression in patients, both at the time of diagnosis and six months post-treatment, than the healthy controls. Interestingly, it did not show genetic differences between those patients who were fully recovered and those who had persistent symptoms. Those gene expressions specific to the Lyme patients showed some similarities to those of patients with three different chronic immune disorders, suggesting that Lyme causes similar immune dysfunction that stays on, even after the disease is resolved.

Why should we care about these complicated genetic studies that we can barely understand? Because this information on gene expression could form the basis for future biomarkers (providing a test for ME/CFS and more reliable testing for Lyme), modes of treatment, and perhaps even cures through genetic manipulation. The better the medical field understands what is behind our diseases, the better treatment that will be available to patients. These genetic studies help to form the basis for future research and improvements in patient care and are definitely a reason to celebrate!

New ProHealth Article - Balancing Hope & Acceptance

I am continuing to recover after my bout of both flu and bronchitis last week. I'm feeling much better overall and able to function pretty normally again. I'm still coughing and sometimes sound like Darth Vader when I breathe (and my husband says I've been moaning in my sleep!), but the inhaler and Mucinex continue to help, and it keeps getting better.

My latest article has been published on ProHealth website's Inspiration Corner: Balancing Hope & Acceptance. You can read the full article at the link, and I will reprint it here on my blog in a month or so.

This article deals with the delicate balance in chronic illness between accepting your current condition and making the best of things, while still holding onto hope for a better tomorrow.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on both acceptance and hope, either here in the blog comments, on the ProHealth article's comments section, or on Facebook or Twitter.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

(In case you missed it, my ProHealth article for February was The Joy of Celebrations, with tips on how to easily make a day like today into a special occasion! I just painted my nails a lovely shade of green and hung our St. Patty's Day decorations up. Going to get the corned beef started soon.)

TV Tuesday: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

I am slowly coming back to life after a bout of both the flu and bronchitis. I would say that the Tamiflu and antibiotics both did their jobs since about one week later, I am starting to feel much better and my cough is clearing up. Even my thinking cleared up today (yay!) and my energy is returning, so I am trying to get back into my usual blogging routines. I have plenty of fodder for my weekly TV Tuesday feature because my son and I were both home sick last week, so we watched a LOT of TV together!

On my worst day last week, I couldn't even manage scrolling through Facebook or checking my e-mail. My son was still asleep, so I needed some seriously mindless TV (and something other than crime shows which I was overloaded on from watching with him!). I settled on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, a comedy on Netflix, propped myself up on the couch, and binge-watched about 6 episodes in a row! It was just what I needed - light, fun, and fluffy to lift my spirits.

The very original premise of the show is that a group of girls is rescued from an underground bunker after being held for fifteen years by a crazy doomsday cultist. The girls travel to NYC to appear on the Today Show after their release, and one of them, Kimmy, played by Ellie Kemper of The Office fame, decides to stay in New York to start her new life. Kimmy was taken captive when she was just 13, so she is extremely naive and completely unfamiliar with the modern world. She was basically scooped up from middle school, held underground for 15 years, and is now loose in NYC.

Kimmy finds a job as a nanny for the wealthy Jacqueline Vorhees, played by Jane Krakowski, looking after her pre-teen son and teen daughter. She also finds a place to live, a basement apartment that she shares with a flamboyantly gay black man named Titus Andremedon, played by Tituss Burgess, with a very flaky landlord played by Carol Kane. It all sounds a little over-the-top described here...and it is! That's the fun of this show - subtle it is not. And did you see that cast? They are all excellent at playing crazy, funny characters.

Kimmy is, of course, the star of the show, and Ellie Kemper is perfect for the role of the innocent, perky young woman making her way through both adolescence and adulthood at the same time. Kimmy loves to dress in bright colors and has absolutely no pretense about her, which tends to bring out the best in those around her. Of course, there are plenty of funny misunderstandings from Kimmy's complete naivete about the modern world. Despite all its light-hearted fun, the show is also warm and endearing as Kimmy tackles all the obstacles thrown in her way and helps those around her, too.

Bottom line: this show is absolute cotton candy fun, a delight to watch, often very funny, and a great pick-me-up. It was the perfect show to binge-watch on a sick day, and after 10 episodes, I found myself really caring abut Kimmy and her ragtag group of friends.

This is a Netflix original show, so it is only available on the streaming service. Season 1 is currently available with 13 episodes, and season 2 starts on April 15, 2016.

What are your favorite shows to cheer you up on sick days?

Triple Whammy - Fighting Infections

I posted on Tuesday about suddenly getting sick, but this is turning out to be way more than my usual ho-hum bronchitis again.

By noon on Tuesday, I was shivering with fever (a rarity for me) and had such severe aches & joint pain I could hardly move. I live with mild aches much of the time, but this was different. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling like concrete had set up in my chest overnight - instead of the loose, wet cough from the day before, I could hardly breathe in and had searing pain in my chest when I did manage to cough. This was definitely NOT my usual bronchitis.

After my nap (spent shivering under blankets even though it was almost 80 here yesterday!), my temperature hit 102, so I took 3 ibuprofen. I had been holding off because I didn't want to mask my symptoms when I went into the doctor, but as my son said, there wasn't much chance of that!

It was finally time for my doctor's appointment at 3 pm, and I barely dragged myself over there. I was explaining to the doctor how fast it came on and how severe my symptoms were, when she glanced at the row of numbers the nurse had written down for my vital signs and said, "I see your OI is bad today, too - your heart rate is 100." I said, "That's not my heart rate - that's my temperature" and watched her eyes bug out!

Like most people with ME/CFS, my "normal" temperature runs low, usually about 97.5 and even when I get a "fever," like with bronchitis, it rarely rises above 99. I think this is only the second time my temperature has risen above 100 in my 14 years with ME/CFS!

She agreed with my assessment that this was almost certainly the flu, given how fast it came on and the high fever. The lab in their office was closed yesterday, so she couldn't swab me for flu but felt it was prudent to get me on Tamiflu right away. She also decided to treat the bronchitis with antibiotics, given my history with it and how prone people with ME/CFS are to bacterial infections.

Before I left, she asked how my chronic yeast overgrowth was doing. I reported that it was still fairly bad; I was still taking Diflucan, alternating days with 1 pill and 2. She told me to go back up to 2 pills a day while I'm on antibiotics...I know this drill by now!

So, it seems I have the flu, bronchitis, and my usual yeast overgrowth. I am now taking antivirals (Tamiflu), antibiotics, and doubling up on my usual antifungals. I should have all bases covered now! Within a few hours of taking the first Tamiflu, my fever began to drop, so I am hopeful this will help and will also prevent my immune system from going crazy and causing a long-term relapse. My son got the flu two Novembers ago, and he was badly crashed for over two months (we didn't realize it was the flu until later).

What makes this even more remarkable is that, because of the immune dysfunction in ME/CFS, my immune system over-responds to viruses, so while I may crash from the immune symptoms when exposed to a virus, I almost never actually "catch" a virus. In my 14 years with ME/CFS, I have never had the flu before and rarely, if ever, catch colds. Oddly, I also just caught my first stomach virus in 14 years at Christmastime. I wonder if this means that my immune system is becoming more "normal"?

Have you had the flu since getting ME/CFS? What has been your experience with infections?

Bronchitis...Here We Go Again

Unbelievable. I've been feeling pretty good the past few days, but last night while we were watching TV, I had a little tickle at the back of my throat. My husband got me a sugar-free lozenge, and we went to sleep. By the middle of the night, I was coughing and could feel the chest congestion starting. I woke up this morning with full-blown symptoms - chest pain, tightness & congestion, constant wet cough, wheezing. All of this developed literally overnight!

My son and I both struggle with bronchitis several times a year, though immune modulators like inosine and low-dose naltrexone have helped reduce the incidence.

We are not unusual among those with ME/CFS. The specific type of immune system dysfunction in ME/CFS (Th2 dominant) makes its patients more prone to bacterial infections: our immune systems over-react to viruses and allergens and under-react to bacteria. So, we almost never get colds, but the tiniest bit of congestion and...bam! We've got bronchitis again. For my younger son, it's usually sinus infections.

Both of us have albuterol inhalers now, which help, but it still feels impossible to stop this runaway train once it starts. I already made an appointment with our doctor for tomorrow so she can listen to my lungs - fortunately, she has a very good understanding of ME/CFS and our chronic problems with bronchitis. She always treats it aggressively because she knows it could easily turn into pneumonia with us.

I tried, last fall, to get rid of it myself without antibiotics, since (like many with ME/CFS)  I have chronic yeast overgrowth that is severely flared up by taking antibiotics. I used the inhaler, took maximum strength Mucinex round-the-clock, decongestant during the day, allergy meds, and all sorts of herbal antivirals and antibacterials. But, as my husband pointed out, waiting to see the doctor only resulted in my needing 3 rounds of antibiotics instead of 1 and being badly crashed for over two months. I've learned my lesson - better to get in immediately, take those damn antibiotics, and nip it in the bud. The weather is just starting to turn nice this week, and I really don't want to spend the next couple of months in bed!

So, here I sit, coughing like crazy, dialing back my planned activities today. I still feel good this morning (other than the chest symptoms), but I know what's coming  I've been on this train before. I'll see my doctor tomorrow and hopefully get rid of this infection before it has a chance to dig in.

Have you experienced these kinds of chronic bacterial infections?

14 Years Ago Today...

Happy Illiversary to me!

14 years ago today, my life forever divided into Before and After, though I had no idea at the time.

On March 2, 2002, I had a typically active Saturday - step class at the Y while my sons were in their swim class, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, and then having friends over for a dinner party. The only sign that anything had changed was that I had a severe sore throat at bedtime and felt more worn out than I normally did.

The next morning, I woke up feeling horrible and figured I had some sort of virus, but we went ahead with our plans to spend the day in Baltimore with our sons. I felt awful through the whole thing. In this blog post from my 7th ME/CFS anniversary, I describe the surreal experience of that trip.

The funny thing is that even though I felt so bad that day, I still had no idea that my life had just changed dramatically...forever. I thought I'd feel better in a few days. And, in fact, I did feel a little better after about 5 days, well enough to go visit my newborn niece, though, of course, I quickly went back to feeling sick in a crazy up-and-down pattern that seemed completely random at the time. It would be a full year before I finally got an accurate diagnosis of ME/CFS (and I know I am one of the lucky ones for diagnosis only taking a year!).

My husband and I in Baltimore this weekend

Coincidentally, my husband and I spent this past weekend in Baltimore again. I'm happy to report that it was much better than that long-ago trip 14 years ago, mostly because I know my illness and my limitations now and have learned to live with my restrictions. I took two naps on Saturday, limited my time at the art museum to under an hour, and wore my heart rate monitor everywhere. We were back in our hotel room watching Netflix in bed by 8 pm! Still, we had a very nice weekend together, and I call that a victory, especially since I can still remember - vividly - how horrible I felt on that trip 14 years ago.

In front of the Baltimore Museum of Art (I'm awful at selfies!)

I used to get upset every March 2, but I have long ago accepted my "new normal," and I am quite happy with my life now. Of course I would prefer to be well, but I've learned to live for today and I still have plenty of hope for the future, too.

I am feeling pretty crummy today, ironically, which is fairly uncommon for me now to have a bad crash day. I suspect much of this crash is due to emotional upset over some family members - you'd think they'd understand after 14 years, but some of them never will. Plenty of treatments have helped my sons and I to improve our quality of life. As we often say, nothing helps a lot, but a lot of things have helped a little, and those little improvements add up.

So, Happy Illiversary to me!

Studies show that about 80% of those with ME/CFS can name the exact date when their illness began.

How do you feel about your anniversaries of getting sick?

Summary of TV Reviews

After putting together a listing of all of my book reviews and movie reviews from 2015, I decided I should also list the TV shows I have reviewed. All of these lists are available anytime from the tabs along the top of the blog (and will be updated there), but I am also listing my TV reviews here since there aren't many yet (I just started writing TV reviews in September 2015). These are all shows that I or my entire family have enjoyed, arranged by genre. 

What are some of YOUR favorite TV shows?

TV Reviews

KEY: Available for free (or with subscription) from:

AP = Amazon Prime

C = Cable and/or Cable On Demand

I = On network’s own website

N = Netflix

(Offerings from subscription services change all the time, so double-check. Also, some shows are available for an additional fee on Amazon Prime whether you subscribe or not. Most networks offer some episodes of every show for free at their own websites. Check out this post for a comparison of ways to watch TV/services available.)

Comedy

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (also a musical!) (C, I) – The CW

Grace and Frankie (N) - Netflix

Drama

The Good Wife (AP, C, I, N) – CBS

Madam Secretary (C, I, N) - CBS

Mr. Robot (C, I) - USA

Dramedy (both Comedy & Drama)

Orange is the New Black (N) - Netflix

Red Oaks (AP) – Amazon Prime

Transparent (AP) – Amazon Prime

Younger (C, I) – TV Land

Crime/Mystery/Thriller

5 Days (AP) – BBC

Blindspot (C, I, N) - NBC

Colony (sci fi) (C, I) - USA

How To Get Away with Murder (C, N, I) – ABC

Legends (C, I, N) - TNT

Limitless (C, I) – CBS

The Mysteries of Laura (C, I, N) - NBC

Quantico (C, I) - ABC

The Wire (AP) - HBO

TV Tuesday: Grace and Frankie

We are still exploring our new Netflix subscription (and, yeah, watching way too much TV!). In between binging on Orange Is the New Black, we sometimes have time for other shows.

I particularly relish my lunchtime TV viewing, when it is just me, alone in the quiet house, taking a break from work...and with no males around to choose the shows! This is when I watched my girl-shows (that sounds vaguely dirty, but you know what I mean), like Younger and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Transparent. My newest lunchtime discovery is Grace and Frankie.

This half-hour comedy stars Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Martin Sheen, and Sam Waterston. Enough said. I was sold when I heard the cast list! They are all wonderful in this show with a very unique premise (Lily Tomlin was nominated for both a Golden Globe and an Emmy for her role).

In the first episode, Robert and Sol, played respectively by Sheen and Waterston, each tell their wives that they are lovers. Robert and Sol have been business partners for 20 years but have kept their personal relationship a secret. Now they are coming out of the closet, leaving their wives, and moving in together. The news is a complete shock to their wives (and their grown children). Grace, played by Fonda, is a perfectly coiffed woman who started her own business. Frankie, played by Tomlin, is more of an aging hippie type, dressing in loose colorful clothing and into artistic pursuits.

Both women are completely blown away by their husbands' secret and look to escape from their respective homes. They both set off for the beach house that the four of them bought together many years ago. Of course, the two of them are complete opposites in every way and don't even like each other much, but they are thrown together and both feeling lost.

There is nothing earth-shattering about this show, except for the incredible combined talent of its main actors, but it is fun and light and enjoyable. Fonda and Tomlin each play stereotypical roles that they have played before, but all four actors are just fun to watch. There are some issues addressed here, particularly being left by your spouse later in life and just aging in general, but for the most part, it is a fun confection, and it's enjoyable to watch these four together.

Grace and Frankie is shown exclusively on Netflix.

Which TV comedies are you enjoying?

Movie Monday: All Good Things & Project Almanac

Our college son was home sick all last week - "just" a cold, but you know how a simple infection can knock us out! He was couch-bound all week which meant LOTS of TV and a couple of movies. I wasn't feeling well myself, so that worked out fine. My husband, our son, and I watched two good movies on Netflix:

First, we watched All Good Things, a creepy psychological thriller based on the true story of Robert Durst, who was suspected of killing his wife but never convicted. Ryan Gosling plays David Marks (the Robert Durst character), a lackadaisical young man in the shadow of his father, played by Frank Langella, who's a powerful, wealthy real estate mogul in 1970's New York. David falls for Katie, a sweet young woman played by Kirsten Dunst whom his father disapproves of because she isn't from the right kind of family. They marry anyway and move to Vermont to open a natural foods store. Their happiness is short-lived, however, as David's father convinces him that he must join the family business or else Katie will eventually leave him because he can't earn a good living.

David reluctantly joins his father's (rather criminal) business alongside his older brother, and his downward spiral begins. He knows he's sold out and given up his dreams and becomes more and more bitter. In addition, Katie wants to have kids and David is firmly against it, which further broadens the rift growing between them. They have two gorgeous houses - one in the city and one on a lake - and all that money can buy, but neither of them is happy, and David seems more and more withdrawn. As you might recall from the news reports in 1982, Katie goes missing one night, and though foul play is suspected, nothing is ever proven and no charges are ever brought.

The entire movie is framed by a courtroom scene, with voiceovers of an attorney questioning an elderly David about all of these events, though we don't find out until the end of the movie exactly why he is in court. It's a creepy psychological thriller that keeps you guessing. Ryan Gosling is perfect in the lead role, playing his usual silent but deep and troubled guy with a chilling coldness. Kirsten Dunst is also excellent as Katie, and Frank Langella plays the controlling, powerful father very well. All in all, it is a chilling movie based on a real-life unsolved case - not exactly uplifting fodder but gripping and darkly suspenseful.

The next night, we switched gears and watched a fun, fast-paced sci fi movie called Project Almanac, about a group of teens who time travel. David is obviously very smart - the movie opens with his video application to MIT, as he and his friends demonstrate the drone they built, while his sister, Christina films them. In fact, the entire movie is supposedly filmed with Christina's hand-held camera in that style made popular by The Blair Witch Project. Accepted to MIT but unable to pay for it, David searches his attic for projects left by his scientist dad that he might work on to apply for a scholarship. He and Christina find an old video camera, with footage from David's 7th birthday ten years earlier, the day that his dad died in a car accident. Watching the video, David recognizes his current self in a mirror, which sets him, his sister, and his friends on a search for a way to time travel. They discover a hidden compartment in the basement where his dad hid top-secret government blueprints and equipment for Project Almanac.

The geeks put their heads together, go shopping, and finish putting the time travel apparatus together using the blueprints over the course of several weeks. Cute girl Jessie joins their ragtag group, and they begin traveling back in time. They start slowly, going back a week so that one of their group can retake the chemistry test he failed because he was busy working on the time machine. They make other trips back for various reasons, until they start to notice some unintended consequences. You can guess the rest - as in any time travel story, you should never tamper with the past! Things spin out of control as David frantically tries to fix their mistakes.

I love time travel stories for their mind-bending and thought-provoking twisty plots, though this one has a few holes in it. I see that some critics really hated the hand-held camera approach here or picked apart the plot holes, but the three of us just went along for the ride and enjoyed it. It's a fun-filled, action-packed teen time travel movie, with the usual subplots about friendship and love, and of course, that hard-won lesson: never tamper with the past.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

Weekly Inspiration: Gratitude

Earlier this week, I posted about learning to focus on the positive in the midst of a rough week, with #GratefulToday...And Good Doctors. I thought that gratitude was a perfect topic for a Weekly Inspiration post!

I found a wonderful quote from a book that I read last fall, If the Oceans Were Ink: An Unlikely Friendship and a Journey to the Heart of the Quran by Carla Power (review here), a memoir about a Jewish (though mostly secular) woman's quest to learn about the Quran from a friend/colleague of hers, a Muslim scholar living in England with his family. She spent a year immersing herself in the Muslim faith and learning how real Muslims live (not the extremists who too often dominate the news).

In this passage, she is talking about her friend, affectionately known as "the Sheik," and his family and her observations of their focus on gratitude:

"Spending time with the Sheik and his family, I was struck at how grateful they were for small things, and how often. In Sumaiya [his daughter] and her sisters, I saw none of the vague dissatisfaction I'd seen flourish around me - indeed, in me - growing up. As a member of the American middle class, I was raised in a nation of strivers, a nation founded on the right to pursue happiness. Our discontent was productive. It got things done. The drive to do better propelled you through graduate school and up career ladders. Through spin classes and salary negotiations. A world of infinite favors didn't yield reliable results. My secularist's do-it-yourself existence did not get me into the habit of being grateful for date palms, fragrant herbs, and seas."
          - If the Oceans Were Ink: An Unlikely Friendship and a Journey to the Heart of the Quran by Carla Power

Maybe that is why I have become so much more aware of gratitude - and so grateful for the small things in life - since becoming ill. Most of us living with ME/CFS and other chronic illnesses have been removed from that "nation of strivers." No longer propelled by drive or able to get much done, we have, by necessity, slowed down such that we are able to notice those small joys and feel gratitude for the things we do still have in our lives.

Since posting my gratitude post earlier this week, I have kept up my pledge to post on social media (for me, Twitter and Facebook) each day using #GratefulToday. I am loving the habit of pausing each day to consider what I am grateful for. Even more, I am enjoying hearing about what others are grateful for in their lives. It has been inspiring to hear about the tiny victories in people's lives, the small things they are grateful for, and especially, the ability to recognize and feel gratitude, even on a really bad day.

I hope you will join me and others in sharing your own #GratefulToday gratitude each day. You can leave a comment here on the blog, use #GratefulToday on social media (I check it each day!), or follow me on Twitter (@livewithmecfs) or on Facebook and reply with your own gratitude there.

This small habit of daily gratitude has already helped me (especially in dealing with a difficult family member this week), so join in!

Today, I am grateful for a quiet Sunday at home with my husband. What are YOU grateful for today?

#GratefulToday...and Good Doctors!

image from Photobucket

I've been having a rough week - my college son is home sick, a family member said some really hurtful things, and I'm not feeling great myself. I haven't been badly crashed but just very low energy and always worn out the past two weeks.

Yesterday, a very simple thing made my day and lifted my spirits! A doctor took the extra time and effort to investigate one of (my many!) mysterious symptoms and found some answers for me. He did extra research, searched online, and once he figured out that I had a rare condition (more on that in another post), he spent the time yesterday to explain it to me in detail, gave me a video online to watch, and asked me detailed questions to help figure out what's behind it and how he could help me. Ideally, this is what doctors are supposed to do, but we all know how rare it is to come across a doctor who goes the extra mile like this! I was so full of gratitude that I wanted to share my experiences.

Today, I had a visit with my primary care doctor over a non-ME/CFS issue (a rarity!), and  felt that same kind of gratitude. She's a gem, too - the first one to recognize that I had ME/CFS 13 years ago and always willing to try new treatments to help me.

Coincidentally this week, as I said, an insensitive family member made some cruel remarks that were very upsetting to me, so I have been making an effort to keep a positive frame of mind, to focus on all that is good in my life, and to be grateful for what I have. I resumed my daily Joy Journal, but I also wanted to focus more on gratitude.

Those two events brought a bit of inspiration! I'm going to start using #GratefulToday, on Twitter and Facebook, to share what I am grateful for each day. And I would love for you to join me!

You can start by leaving a comment below - tell me what YOU are grateful for today! Then, please share this - let's see how far we can spread gratitude! Use Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and other forms of social media to share #GratefulToday far and wide. Besides helping to spread a message of gratitude, we will also be helping ourselves - to bring a greater sense of peace and grace into our lives. Feeling better emotionally helps so much with chronic illness (just like those darker emotions can worsen our condition). 

Spread the word! #GratefulToday

I'm grateful for these wonderful, caring doctors I have! What are YOU grateful for today?

Weekly Inspiration: The Joy of Celebrations

My latest article for ProHealth's Inspiration Corner, The Joy of Celebrations, was published last week just in time for a wonderful season of small occasions perfect for chronic illness-sized mini celebrations. Celebrating these special days brings unexpected joy into otherwise routine days, especially in the dreary days of winter. Check out the article for lots of specifics on how we celebrate and how you can, too, regardless of your physical condition.

This weekend is perfect for this article because Sunday is Valentine's Day! It doesn't matter if you are alone or with a spouse, partner, or friend, you can still celebrate this day devoted to love. It doesn't need to be focused on romantic love - celebrate love for your friends, your family, your parents, your children, or even your pets! Change into red pajamas (I will definitely be wearing my heart socks and heart earrings) and with the help of your loved ones, hang some hearts on the walls or windows, watch some love-centric movies (again, any kind of love), or read a wonderful novel about different kinds of love (here's a list of my favorites). And don't forget the chocolate!

Our Valentine's Day treats

We'll have both of our young adult sons home tomorrow morning (a rarity), so we're having strawberry-chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and we have little goodie bags for each of them filled with treats (an old tradition at our house). My older son, who has ME/CFS along with 3 tick infections and battles chronic yeast overgrowth, has sugar-free peanut butter cups and extra-dark chocolate in his bag. We'll also hang hearts in their doorways like we did when they were little (though it won't be much of a surprise because they will both be up later than us tonight!).

Enjoying chocolate fondue on Valentine's Day

And if you miss celebrating Valentine's Day, there are plenty of other opportunities coming up to add some special joy to your life - St. Patricks' Day, First Day of Spring, Easter, Cinco de Mayo...even President's Day on Monday! And when there are no special occasions coming up and you are in need of a celebration, make up your own or check out this list of Special Days. Who knew that today was Tortellini Day and Wednesday is Random Acts of Kindness Day (and next Saturday is Handcuff Day - huh)?

Everyone could use a little extra joy in their lives, especially those of us living within the restrictions of chronic illness every day. It doesn't take much effort to make any day a special occasion and a reason to celebrate!

Check out the suggestions in the article and tell me - how do YOU celebrate the small stuff?

TV Tuesday: Colony

Months ago, when the first previews for the TV show Colony were shown, my family was eagerly awaiting this new USA show. Josh Holloway (Sawyer from Lost) plus post-apocayptic alien invasion? We're sold! We've watched the first three episodes of this intriguing show so far and can't wait to see more...

Holloway plays Will Bowman, who is married to Katie, played by Sarah Wayne Callies. They have two kids at home and in the first episode, are visibly upset over a missing third child, Charlie. The Bowmans live in a post-apocalyptic LA, which is eerily similar to current-LA...only different. There are no cars on the streets, only walkers and bicycles. Things seem quiet and peaceful on the outside, but just under the surface, it is clear that people are scared and nervous. And the peace is occasionally shattered when robotic drones fly overhead, shooting at people who committed some unseen crime.

LA has been invaded by an outside force, presumably alien, that has taken control of everything. There is a wall around LA, and the Bowmans worry about their older son, who was caught outside that wall when the invasion happened and is now working in a "factory" and unable to contact them. In the first episode, desperate to find their son, Will stows away in a truck headed outside the wall, but his plans are foiled when a Resistance force blows up the gateway to the other side.

In the aftermath of the explosion, Will is offered a job in the controlling government - and this is not an offer he is at liberty to refuse. To keep his family safe, he takes the job, even though he and Katie sympathize with the Resistance. They both realize that Will must take this job, both in hopes of finding their lost son and to keep their remaining children safe. Bit by bit, as the episodes continue, viewers learn more about both the Resistance and the new order that is in charge, as Will and Katie end up in some precarious positions, trying to balance their real feelings with Will's job, and their need to keep their family safe.

Even just 3 episodes in, we are all hooked on this exciting new show. It's classic sci fi, with lots of action and suspense but also plenty of human drama, too. The acting is excellent - Josh Holloway is just as charismatic here as Will as he was as Sawyer on Lost! Peter Jacobson (who starred as Taub on House) is also featured as the man who hires Will (and who has decided that siding with the invaders is the best way to benefit himself). The show is well-written so far and fast-paced. We can't wait to see what happens next! And...breaking news...Colony was just renewed for a second season, so it sounds like we're not the only ones enjoying it!

Colony is available On Demand on cable and online at the USA Network website. Episodes are also available starting at $1.99 on Amazon Prime (see link below).

Movie Monday: Books Coming to the Big Screen in 2016

Rejoice, book lovers! The trend of transforming books into movies continues to ramp up in 2016, with everything from classics to YA novels to recent best-sellers being adapted for the Big Screen.

Here is BuzzFeed's List of 19 Books to Read Before the Movie Comes Out in 2016. Goodreads has its own list, with over 100 books being made into movies (but notice the caveat at the top of the page - the list was made by Goodreads' users, so not all of those listed will actually be released in 2016).

Of the list of 19 movies listed at Buzzfeed, I have read three of the books:

• Allegiant by Veronica Roth (#3 in the Divergent series) - my favorite of the trilogy
• The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, which my husband & I both read last summer
• Bill Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain, an amazing & powerful novel

All of these will make good movies. I know my husband and I will enjoy seeing the first two together. But the one I am most looking forward to is Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk because it was such an incredible, moving, funny book. It was a finalist for the National Book Award, and I can't wait to see how they adapt it for film - it will have to be really good to meet the standards of the book.

The 5th Wave is one we have here at home, but none of the three of us have read it yet! It just came out in the theaters, so we better get busy.

From the Goodreads list, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline (my favorite book read on 2012) and Looking for Alaska by John Green are favorite books of mine, and both will make great movies...but the latest updates show they won't be released until 2017. Similarly, my husband and I both LOVED Wool by Hugh Howey and can't wait to see that on film, but it is still only in the very earliest stages of development. Same with Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer, an outstanding middle-grade series. American Pastoral by Philip Roth, however, is due out in 2016 and should be good (probably more to my liking than my husband's, though!).

11/22/63 by Stephen King is another favorite of ours, but it has been made into a TV mini-series that will be airing soon on Hulu (we must find a friend with a Hulu subscription!) The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay is also slated for the small screen but is still in early stages of development. I'd love to see that one, too - it's such an epic novel that it will make a wonderful TV series.

Wow, so many great movies and TV series to look forward to for us book lovers!

Which movie adaptations are you most looking forward to in 2016?

New Study: Difficulty of Diagnosing POTS

A new study confirms what I have heard from hundreds of ME/CFS patients: Testing for Orthostatic Intolerance (OI) is not fool-proof and often shows a normal response even when OI (in this case POTS) is present. This is great news for those who have the symptoms of OI but whose doctors dismissed it when a single test came back negative. There is a summary at this link that you can print to share with your doctor (and he or she can access the full article).

As a quick recap for those new to these terms:

Orthostatic Intolerance (OI) is a group of conditions where the patient has trouble maintaining a steady blood pressure (BP) and/or heart rate (HR) while upright.

OI is an integral part of our disease, occurring in over 97% of ME/CFS patients and about 75% of those with fibromyalgia (and many of those with Lyme Disease).

The two most common forms of OI in ME/CFS are Neurally Mediated Hypotension (NMH), where the BP drops while the patient is upright, and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), where the patient's HR gets higher when he or she is upright. Most ME/CFS patients have NMH, many have POTS, and quite a few of us have both conditions.

OI underlies much of what we think of as ME/CFS and fibro symptoms - brain fog, low energy, lightheadedness, post-exertional crashes, and more. The good news is that treating OI often brings dramatic improvement to ALL symptoms. You can read more about OI and how to treat it in this excellent article by an expert on OI in ME/CFS, Dr. Peter Rowe from Johns Hopkins. This article is also perfect for printing and sharing with your doctor. Here are links to a webinar Dr. Rowe did on OI, along with some Q&A.

So, what does this new study mean? It clearly shows that a single OI test (typically a tilt table test or an in-office standing test) is NOT always sufficient to show POTS (this study focused only on POTS but the same applies to NMH).  The study showed differences depending on the time of day the test was administered and concluded that the diagnosis can be missed with only a single test. For this reason, they conclude that multiple tests at different times of day (or in the morning when their study showed POTS showed up more clearly) are best. While tilt table testing is expensive (and really unnecessary), any doctor can do a simple standing test in his or her office in under 30 minutes. Dr. Rowe can provide instructions and a form for this (or you can e-mail me).

Bottom line? If you have ME/CFS, you have some form of OI, so don't draw conclusions based on a single OI test. Further, if you have the symptoms of OI but your test says you don't have it, then additional testing or just treating would be advisable.

If you are in that situation, where a single OI test did not show either POTS or NMH, then show this study to your doctor and request another test...or list your symptoms related to OI and ask to try treatments. That's what Dr. Rowe suggested when we were having trouble testing our 8-year old son many years ago - he said that kids that young just can't stand still enough for a valid OI test (especially true for our son!), so he advised our pediatrician to try treating his OI based on his symptoms. After a month on Florinef, he was mostly symptom-free (his ME/CFS was milder), much as treatment with Florinef allowed our older son to go back to school full-time. Florinef works less often for adults, but my older son and I have had excellent results with beta blockers, which have greatly reduced our post-exertional crashes and allowed us both to be much more active.

One more note from personal experience: I have had clear NMH and POTS ever since I got ME/CFS, and my doctor has seen my BP drop many times, even with just a few minutes of standing up. However, when her office did an "official" OI standing test for me for my Social Security Disability appeal, the POTS showed clearly (I was actually scaring the tester because I looked so bad within 10 minutes of standing!), but my results did not meet the official criteria for NMH. Fortunately, my doctor recognized the limits of a single test and explained in the letter she wrote for me that she had witnessed the BP drop on many other occasions. So, I was glad to see this study and that someone finally confirmed what experience has shown!

Have you been tested or treated for OI yet?

TV Tuesday: Orange is the New Black

Even though it is likely we are the last people on earth to have seen it, I still feel compelled to tell you about Orange is the New Black because it is such a great show! We got Netflix about a week ago (just before the huge snowstorm coincidentally). My husband and I were watching the first episode when my son and his girlfriend came in the room. They watched the rest with us, we went up to bed, and the next morning, they told us they ended up watching the first 5 episodes in a row! It's just that addictive. We are now about 8 episodes into the first season.

So, just in case we aren't the last ones on the planet to see this show, it is set in a women's prison. Piper, a very white, wealthy, WASP-y young woman, is heading to prison because ten years ago, she got involved in carrying drug money for her lesbian girlfriend who was involved with an international drug cartel. Key members of the cartel were arrested, and Piper's name got thrown in the pot by those hoping to turn in others for a reduced sentence. So Piper, who is now engaged to her cute Jewish boyfriend, is going to prison for 15 months because of her youthful mistakes.

As you might imagine, Piper doesn't quite fit in with the prison community. They are roughly divided into the blacks, the Hispanics, the Golden Girls (older inmates), and the Others (real misfits). Many of these women are very tough (or have become so to survive), and most have lives lives entirely different than Piper's. Other inmates include Crazy Eyes, who takes a not-appreciated liking to Piper, Red (played by Kate Mulgrew), who is in charge of the kitchen and a lot more, and "Pennsatucky," a scary Christian-zealot who takes an instant dislike to Piper.

As I said, this show is incredibly addicting! I dare you to watch just one episode. You really care about what happens to Piper...and, as the show goes on, some of the other inmates, too. Piper is trying to figure out how to walk a thin line between being a "good citizen" for the warden and fitting in with her fellow inmates. She wants to stay out of trouble but is also astonished at some of the injustices she sees there. Orange is the New Black made awards-show history by being nominated for - and winning - awards in both drama and comedy categories. That's appropriate, as it melds comedy and drama into each episode. The acting is top-notch, and the plots are compelling. It is also, as you might expect from a prison show, quite graphic at times, with lots of nudity, sex, and some violence.

Orange is the New Black is available only on Netflix, since it is a Netflix original program. It might be worth the Netflix subscription fee all on its own! There are three full seasons available now on Netflix, and Season 4 is premiering on June 17 this year.

Have you seen Orange is the New Black yet? Are you addicted, too? What other TV shows are you enjoying now?

(NOTE: This is an older trailer that mentions the start date for season 3 at the end - I didn't want to give away any spoilers for earlier seasons!):

Movie Monday: Favorite Movies Watched in 2015

I decided to try something different and made a list of all the movie we watched in 2015 - you can see the full list here, including links to all my reviews. I'm so glad I did this and took a look back - we saw so many amazing movies last year! I had forgotten about a lot of them, so it was great to revisit them. Just remember, this is a list of movies we watched in 2015, not necessarily those that came out last year (though we saw more new releases than usual!). We watched 54 movies all together, and my list is organized alphabetically, within genres.

Besides the full list, here are some superlatives to whet your appetite:

Best Movie of the Year
Chef  - hard to choose just one, but I loved this warm, funny, uplifting movie

Favorite Suspense/Thrillers
Before I Go To Sleep
Dark Places 
Hours
Nightcrawler
Taken 

Favorite Dramas (so many good ones to choose from!)
Boyhood
Chef 
Hector and the Search for Happiness
The Imitation Game
The Judge
Still Alice
The Way
Wild      

Favorite Comedies
St. Vincent
This is Where I Leave You

Favorite Sci Fi Movies
12 Monkeys
Coherence
Guardians of the Galaxy
Interstellar
The Martian
Predestination
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Favorite Documentary
Without a Home

Favorite Family/Animated Movie
Shaun the Sheep           

Best Uplifting Movies
Chef
Hector and the Search for Happiness
Redwood Highway 
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 
The Way
    
What were your favorites movies you watched in 2015?