Tuesday, March 07, 2006

A Rough Morning

Today is one of those days when it was torture to try to wake up and get out of bed. Just taking a shower has completely wiped me out. How pathetic is that? You'd think that 9 hours of sleep would be enough. One of my favorite CFS quotes is from a patient interviewed for Katrina Berne's wonderful book, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and Other Invisible Illnesses. He said, "I used to wake up looking forward to a new day. Now I wake up and think, 'Shit, it's morning.'" This is a rather dismal view from someone like me who is usually such a sunny optimist, but some days with CFIDS are just like that.

I haven't done anything too exerting lately; in fact, I just had that wonderful, relaxing weekend. It might be my son's recent strep throat infection. I've noticed that if one of my kids gets sick, I rarely catch what they have, but just the presence of the infection can make my immune system go crazy (crazier than usual). There I go again, playing my favorite game, What Did It This Time?

I hate this feeling. It's so hard to describe to anyone who doesn't have CFS. If I just list my symptoms, it doesn't seem to add up to much - sore throat, achy legs, exhaustion - but the overall effect is paralyzing.

It's time to take my son to school for his 3 classes, and then I have a mammogram scheduled. I can't wait to get back here so I can lie down again. It's pretty sad when you've just gotten up in the morning and you're already looking forward to the evening when you can go back to bed. I just have to keep reminding myself that if I rest, I'll feel better in a day or two. Not well, but better.


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