Monday, October 23, 2006

Highs and Lows

I haven't written a blog in over a week because I haven't had a moment to myself! It's been a rollercoaster week, with all four of us taking turns sick. Jamie missed four days of school last week, and Craig missed last Thursday, Friday, and today. I felt bad on Thursday and really horrible on Friday (and bad again today). Even Ken (who hasn't been sick in years, thank goodness) came home from work sick on Friday and spent most of the weekend in bed. I suspect whatever virus he caught is what's wreaking havoc with our immune systems.

Craig and I both felt great this weekend. He was bubbling with energy and his usual exuberance. I was also full of energy (good thing since Ken was out of commission). I cooked a lot, took walks with Craig and with a friend, and took Jamie to his soccer game.

I noticed this weekend, as I often do when I temporarily feel like my "old self," an intense surge of joy and energy. Obviously, I feel relieved to be feeling good for a change, but this kind of elation goes beyond that. Maybe it's partly a biochemical thing - all those feel-good hormones that have been in short supply suddenly flooding my brain. In any case, at these times, I feel hugely grateful for my life and almost astonished at all the wonderful things surrounding me. I feel as though the world is so full of great books, music, foods, exciting places to see and people to meet that I can't wait to experience it all. I feel filled with joy.

I'm not sure whether I've adequately described this feeling of joy and love of life. It's the polar opposite of the depressed state that can accompany really severe crashes. I want to blog about some of things that bring me joy - whenever I can find a few moments to myself!

1 comment:

  1. Wow! Your description of how you feel when you're feeling somewhat normal just floored me because it was so obviously the exact same feeling as I get when I have more energy than usual. I described it briefly in a recent post as being "like little fireworks in my chest, waiting to go off". You can find the full post here, I hope you don't mind me posting the link.
    Anyway, it was just astonishing to find you describing (in better terms than I could) the same feeling that I get - it must be a biochemical thing!
    Anyway, thanks for your blog, it's a great read, following as it does your seemingly superhuman efforts at looking after 2 kids with CFIDS and managing the condition yourself as well.
    Hang in there, I hope the situation improves soon.