Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Drowning

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I'm feeling horribly overwhelmed again. It seems that lately I just vacillate between being crashed and incapacitated and then feeling better but totally overwhelmed with all that's not getting done.

This time of year is always so busy, with all sorts of school functions, end of soccer season, plus trying to pull together last-minute plans for our vacation road trip (only 3 weeks left!). Of course, there's still my writing work (which is seriously stalled) and the house and yard which are both looking more and more like the set of The Munsters.

I tried to help my husband with the yard this weekend, but I can only manage about 15-20 minutes of weeding without causing a crash the next day. That doesn't make much of a dent in our large, jungle-like yard.

It's the same old CFS story. Just tackling the basic maintenance tasks each day - cooking, dishes, laundry, kids - takes up every bit of my limited energy. There's not much left for all the rest of what I need and want to do.

I don't mean to whine. Sometimes I feel like I've got this CFS life thing down and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. This is just one of the drowning times. But I'm trying to take a positive approach to digging out (I guess I'm mixing my metaphors?). I sat down this morning and blew through the 80 e-mails that had piled up, then tackled a few short tasks. It's starting to feel like I'm making some slow progress.

6 comments:

  1. I love your mixed metaphor Sue. Somehow it captures the craziness of this illness -- trying to "dig" your way out of drowning. You have a tremendous amount on your plate right now. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am just so impressed with how you manage with this illness while at the same time raising two children. Maybe it's time to make a list, dividing up the tasks over the the three weeks you have left until you leave on vacation. Yes, unanticipated things will come up have to be added to the list, but I'm thinking that just seeing that 21 days on a BIG sheet of paper will help -- 21 days in which to spread out the "have to's." And, I'd add a few "just for me" things to the list.

    Thinking of you,
    Toni

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  2. Hang in there, Sue!

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  3. Toni -

    You're so right. I know one of my problems is no "me time". I went to my book group last week (and had to lie on the couch all the next day), but that's about the extent of my social interaction for the past several weeks! I'm trying to plan some lunch dates this week.

    I'll try to wittle down my list per your suggestion, too. Right now, I just have one BIG list - really, really big!

    Thanks for the great advice and support!

    Sue

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  4. So sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and yo-yoing between crashes and a sense of not being able to get things done.
    I know you do alot and manage alot while living with CFS. I think the key is not only you time as toni mentions but also not doing a task until the energy is gone....maybe 15 minutes and then a 30 minute rest...like that? Not giving advice....just suggestions I have heard.
    Hang in there~things will balance out in time!

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  5. Sorry you're dealing with this CFS crap again (and again and again: or still, is probably more accurate). Whine all you want: it's your space. It never sounds like whining to me: it sounds like connecting, like somebody who knows.

    Thanks for checking up on me: it means a lot.

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  6. Sounds real and honest to me too, not whining. Life is hard enough when we are well, let alone with CFS.

    It's frustrating isn't it?

    I hope this crash bottoms out for you soon. x

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