Monday, May 22, 2006

More School Woes

Once again, the staff at my son's middle school have brought me to tears.

Jamie's homebound tutor (who handles two of his classes at home for him) thought that Jamie could handle attending all 5 classes for these last two weeks of school, and I agreed. He'd be able to participate in all of the end-of-year review and be better prepared for final exams, plus he'd be there for the fun stuff at the end. I talked to the coordinator at the school, and she said OK. So, I thought it was no big deal (I should have learned by now that everything at this school is a big deal). I sent an e-mail to the two teachers involved, just to let them know that Jamie would be back in class for the last two weeks. The coordinator at school responded to me in a scathing tone that she was "shocked" that I would send a "directive" to the teachers, blah, blah, blah.

It's been like this all year. I'm so sick of being constantly attacked and misunderstood. Every little aspect of Jamie's schooling has been blown into huge conflicts since the start of the school year. It's exhausting. In fact, all this conflict and stress has been the source of several severe crashes for me this year.

My husband and I are nice people. Our boys are kind and courteous and are both excellent students. We're only trying to do what's best for our son, trying to understand the proper processes, just trying to get through the year. It's horrifying for me to think that some of these teachers and staff members obviously perceive me as an overbearing, meddling parent. I try to be a good person, and I want other people to like me (perhaps one of my downfalls!). I hate all this conflict.

Our experience at our son's elementary school last year was just the opposite. Led by an intelligent and compassionate principal, the entire staff approached Jamie's illness in a friendly, cooperative way - just as we approached them. We've been continually stunned by the middle school's adversarial approach this year and blind-sided by every battle.

I'm sick of battles. I'm sick of constantly having to defend myself and to fight for what's right for our son. I just want to throw up my hands and say, "OK, you've won! Do whatever you want."

It seems so unfair that we should have to deal with all of this, in addition to dealing with a seriously ill child. I guess it's similar to some of the battles with medical people and disability services that I've heard from other people with CFIDS.

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