So, as a result, I have been not only exhausted but a bit depressed the past few days. I was able to sleep in a bit this morning - first time since the time change! - and I think that helped a little. For this week's Weekly Inspiration post, I was actually looking for something to inspire myself.
I looked through my Quote Journals this morning (and the stack of books with Post-Its in them waiting to be entered into my Quote Journals!), searching for something to inspire me.
I finally realized that this very simple quote from Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson (a novel about the effects of Japanese-American internment during WWII - review at the link) is really what I need today:
"To persevere was always a reflection of the state of one's inner life, one's philosophy, and one's perspective. It was best to accept old age, death, injustice, hardship - all of these were part of living."
- Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson
I recognized that this quote from the novel fit in perfectly with the short quote that I whispered to myself in bed last night before I fell asleep, one of my all-time favorites and a great comforter when I've had a bad day (or week):
"Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.""
- Mary Ann Radmacher
Sometimes, that's all we can do, right? Persevere and try again tomorrow.
I want to emphasize that by persevere, I don't mean doing nothing. That first quote says to accept hardships as a part of life, but for me, that doesn't mean you do nothing. Yes, there are times when our health and our physical condition are out of our control, and it is healthiest to accept that and try to live peacefully with it. But I don't think you should ever give up hope of a better tomorrow.
I am, at heart, an optimistic person, and I am also someone who does better - and feels better - with lots of information. Knowledge is power. So, although I must accept this new diagnosis and accept my limitations and pain with it for now, I have no intention of giving up. Because persevere also means to keep going, keep learning, keep fighting. All of my research and reading and meeting other people with EM last week has already paid off. I have the names of several doctors within driving distance that treat EM, and I plan to call the closest one first thing Monday morning. I read all of the treatments studies on EM (not much!) and have a list of treatments I want to try that I will discuss with the doctor.
As with ME/CFS and Lyme, I plan to do everything in my power to find ways to ease the EM and find treatments that will help me. I accept that this new condition is a part of my life now, but I will continue to persevere and try again tomorrow to help myself and find some relief.
I'm feeling a little better now - I hope you are, too.
What inspires you when things get bad? What are the comforting words or books or other things you turn to when you feel despair?