In Need of Nurturing

It's been one of those classic CFIDS rollercoaster weeks. I felt great on Monday, one of my best days in years. I was not only free of most symptoms, but I actually felt full of energy and motivation. Wow! I felt like me again. I cleared off the months-old clutter on the kitchen counters, walked to the bus stop to pick up my son instead of driving, sent off several writing pitches, and baked homemade blueberry muffins for my son who was home sick. Yes, I baked - for the second day in a row - amazing.

Then came the crash. My older son had bronchitis early this week, and as he started to feel better, I started to feel worse. Yup, another case of bronchitis, my second in about a month.

My doctor had warned me that being on Valcyte would make me more susceptible to bacterial infections, and, sure enough, I seem to be catching everything that comes through the house. So, I'm back on Zithromax (antibiotic) and feeling horrible today. My chest feels like it's in a vise, and my legs ache terribly.

Usually when I'm crashed, I'm content to just be alone during the day so I can rest, but today I'm yearning to be taken care of and nurtured. Maybe it's the more traditional "sick" symptoms of my bronchitis triggering memories of childhood.

When I was a kid and got sick, my mom would go into full nurture mode. She'd set me up in my bed with a drink to soothe my sore throat and my favorite Nancy Drew books by my side. When she made a trip to the drugstore for a prescription, she'd come back with comic books or a magazine and a thick chocolate shake from the local burger place. Anytime I got sick, she'd make my favorite baked egg custard pudding with a sprinkle of nutmeg on top. (That's me feeling nurtured; dig that 70's wallpaper, huh?)

Lying here alone with my aches and cough, I'm yearning for that same feeling of being cared for. My husband, Ken, does a wonderful job of taking care of our kids and the house when I'm too sick, but I would love some of that mommy-style nurturing. It would be so nice to have someone here to offer to get me another cup of tea or to pick up a favorite magazine for me at the drugstore with my medicines. And that homemade custard would feel so nice on my raw throat.

Ah, well. It's just me today. "Talking" here on my blog helped me feel a little less alone, and when everyone gets home tonight, I'll probably wish for some peace and quiet!