Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Bad Day

One of my blog readers recently remarked about how I seem to have a great, positive attitude and always seem optimistic. I'm not feeling like such a sunny optimist today, though.

Ever have one of those days (or two days) when everything seems to go wrong? The past 24 hours have been really rough for me. For starters, I was very sick this past weekend and am still not back to where I usually am. By Monday, I was doing a lot better, but my 10-year old son, Craig, crashed. When two of us at a time crash, it usually means there's a viral trigger around somewhere. So, Craig's been home from school all week, though he did manage to go in for the last few hours today.

I had to take my older son for x-rays yesterday after school. He hurt his elbow playing soccer a couple of weeks ago, and it doesn't seem to be healing, so the doctor said to take him for x-rays. On our way home - in freezing cold rain and heavy winds - I went around a curve in the road and suddenly felt the car lurch out of my control. I tried to brake and to steer, but the car seemed to have a mind of its own, and we hurtled off the road, over a curb, and finally stopped in some bushes.

It was terrifying, and all I could think about was that the boys were in the car with me. I backed out of the bushes and pulled forward, back down off the curb (probably a mistake in hindsight), and to the side of the road. The right front tire was blown, which is probably what caused me to lose control of the car. Since I drive a very small, low car (a 92 VW convertible), and it was a high curb, I decided to have the car towed to the dealer, just to be on the safe side. I also wasn't entirely sure whether the blown tire caused the accident or whether something else had gone wrong and the tire blew on the curb.

Fortunately, we were all fine, just shook up. My husband arrived shortly after the tow truck, and we finally went home. The service manager called me today - it's going to cost $650 to fix my car (two wheels and another part were damaged, plus the tire). As with most people these days, money is very, very tight right now. I just sent a pile of medical receipts into our Flexible Spending Account to get the remaining $800 out. Some of that was going to be for Christmas presents - now most of it will go into just keeping my car on the road.

Then, I woke up in the middle of the night, with severe pain in my left knee. The knee pain has been bad all day long. I just finished my antibiotics for Lyme a few days ago, but it looks like it may be back. Of course, the stress of yesterday's accident almost certainly caused a CFS flare-up, but knee pain for me has been associated with Lyme, not CFS. Ironically, just today someone sent me a study about how Lyme bacteria can linger in tissues long after antibiotic treatment. So, I just got off the phone with my doctor, and she wants me to go back on doxycycline for awhile longer. This was really the last straw today. I thought I was through with Lyme and back to "just" living with CFIDS. I really just lost it earlier today at the thought that the Lyme is still there, hiding in the tissues of my knees.

I know I have some things to be grateful for. Craig went back to school today. No one was hurt yesterday. If the left tire had blown instead of the right, we would have been propelled into traffic instead of off the road. I know we're fortunate it wasn't worse. But our money situation just gets worse and worse, and the Lyme still being present is overwhelming to me right now. Not feeling very positive or optimistic today.


Toni said...

Dear Sue,

I'm so sorry that so many difficult things are coming at you at once. I'm so relieved though that none of you were hurt in the accident.

Once the flare subsides and the antibiotics begin to make your knee feel better again, I think you'll be able to appreciate just how fortunate you were that the accident wasn't worse than it was.

Things must be overwhelming right now and I'm so sorry.


Renee said...

Oh, Sue
I am so sorry to hear about your problems with the car, finances, the virus and now the Lyme still present in your body. Lyme is nasty stuff that is for sure.
Today I am sending gentle hugs your way as you deal with so much.

me/cfs warrior said...

Hi Sue-

It sounds like a pretty awful few days. The car accident sounds really scary. We just got over some sort of viral thing too so something is going around. All of this must have reactivated the lyme. What a drag. Sending you peaceful, healing thoughts-

Knittah said...

I'm so relieved that you are all ok, even though that accident was a stress you did NOT need. Hang in there!

hobbz said...

Sue, don't beat yourself up for having a bad day. We all have bad days, and living with a chronic condition just compounds that feeling. Give yourself permission to have that bad day, and do what you can to take care of YOU. Take a warm bath...relax in bed with a good book. I find more often than not that I'm unconsiously fighting my fibro, instead of working with it. My outlook gets so much better when I take the time my body is demanding to refuel.
You had a string of bad luck that is for sure, but no where to go but up from here!

Renee said...

Hello Sue
I wanted to let you know that I have awarded you the Kreativ Blogger Award that you can read about at my blog if you wish. I was sent this award by another blogger and asked to pass it one to others who spread happiness. I find your blog encouraging and your strength in coping with your illnesses and your childrens inspirational.