Movie Monday 10/19: Redwood Highway

My husband and I have been too busy during our TV time together, watching all the great new shows that just started (and some old favorites), so we haven't had much time left for movies. But I did what I have been doing lately and watched a quieter, mellower movie on my own while he was out golfing last week.

I chose Redwood Highway, a warm, thoughtful film about family and aging that won awards at several film festivals. Award-winning actress Shirley Knight stars as Marie, a woman in her 70's who is living in a retirement home - and is not very happy about it. James Le Gros stars as Michael, her adult son, whom she argues with frequently. Her grand-daughter is getting married soon, but Marie disapproves - she feels she is too young at 22 (and she's marrying a musician!). At first, Marie refuses to attend the wedding, but one night, thinking back over her own wedding and other events from her past, she abruptly changes her mind and decides to attend the wedding on the coast...and walk all the way there, 80 miles away.

Most of the movie follows Marie on her journey, as she heads down the Redwood Highway (Oregon) toward the coast, through gorgeous parks and forests. She starts out a little rough, with the expected problems - terrible blisters, exhaustion, frustration - but she meets a kind stranger in one town named Pete, played by Tom Skerritt, who helps her with both first aid and emotional support and gives her the strength to continue. Marie camps along the way (she is obviously an experienced backpacker from years past) and meets other interesting people - most of them very kind, some not so much.

As she walks, Marie has plenty of time to think (as one does while long-distance hiking!) and revisits her past, finally facing up to some haunting memories. Meanwhile, while she is on this journey of discovery, her son and grand-daughter are panicked that she has gone missing and have police and search parties looking for her. I really enjoyed this quiet, contemplative movie. As a past backpacker myself, I loved all the natural beauty and scenes of hiking and camping and was glad to go along with Marie on her journey of re-awakening. It's a lovely, thoughtful film, with only mild suspense, perfect for those who can't handle tense movies.

Redwood Highway is currently available free on Amazon Prime and on Netflix, as well as on DVD.



Have you seen any good movies lately?

Weekly Inspiration: The Importance of Self-Care

I get weekly e-mails from the TED Talks website, and one feature this week caught my eye: a playlist of 9 talks all related to The Importance of Self-Care. As it turned out, I have previously watched almost every one of these talks (and posted some of them here on the blog), but it is an excellent collated playlist, and I recommend these highly.


Coincidentally, I just posted here on the blog this week about The Art of Truly Resting and described my own struggles to really slow down and rest when I need to, to drop the to-do list and the buzzing of "must-do's" in my head and truly relax. So, these talks - covering everything from being grateful to mindfulness to slowing down - are a good reminder to me that I need to take care of myself (and some of the ways to do that). Ironically, as I began watching one of the talks on this playlist - on slowing down - I was clicking over to my e-mail program to check e-mail! But I caught myself, had a good laugh at my own expense, and focused just on watching and listening to the talk.

Why is it so hard for us to take care of ourselves? For me, I think some of it stems simply from being a woman, a wife, and a mother. I was brought up to care for others and have done so my entire life (except for those few selfish years around high school & college! lol). I know that some of it is also just my personality - what the experts like to call Type A - always busy, always doing. Even when I am physically unable to be up and about, my mind is still running at top speed.

The greatest challenge for me in living with chronic illness has been to learn how to not be productive, how to truly rest & relax, and how to take care of myself. These wonderful and inspiring talks are a good reminder for me.

The Art of Truly Resting

TRULY resting & enjoying nature on my back deck

I had a hectic week here and am still not fully recovered from my crash due to bronchitis that began at the end of August - still struggling with the resultant flare-up of yeast overgrowth and my stamina is still not back up to my normal baseline. Wednesday, I had a haircut and then stopped in to see my father-in-law for a 5-minute visit...that turned into an hour when the elevator in his building was taken out of service! And yesterday, I took him to an emergency dentist appointment at 12:30. I would normally never schedule any appointment after noon (that's nap time!), but this was urgent (his crown had come out) and was supposed to be quick but turned into a 2-hour oral surgery. By the time he was done, I knew I was in trouble - felt just awful. In fact, I'd been just about to lie down on the tiny couch in the waiting room when he came out. I still had to get him and then me back home. I finally got up from my late nap at 5 pm and felt horrible and felt even worse this morning.

As usual, I had plans today - things that needed to get done: bills to pay, college visits to schedule, writing deadlines, and medical insurance claims to file. But, by the time I had breakfast, I knew I was in no shape to do all that. I did a few urgent things while lying on the couch with my laptop and then made a decision to "really rest."

This was a momentous occasion for me. I have a terrible time truly resting and setting aside the need to be productive. There is just always so much to do, and I am always behind. But I have learned from hard experience that resting is more than just lying down. For me, truly resting means reading a book, watching TV or a movie, meditating, or actually napping - all while lying flat, of course, with feet elevated. Bonus points for lying outside on my deck, among the trees, birds, and blue sky - I find nature so soothing and rejuvenating.

When I am not feeling well but not at my worst - maybe a 3 or a 4 on my scale of 5 - I have a tendency to still keep pushing myself. I lie on my back on the couch with my feet up, but I still have my laptop open and still try to get things done. I know, though, from years of experience, that that's not truly restful. I know that if I spend all morning on the laptop - even while lying down - that I will not feel better by lunchtime but probably worse. On a typical day, I really only truly relax in the evening, after 7 pm (I do have a hard and fast rule to put the laptop away by 7 pm), when my husband and I watch two TV shows together and then go to bed to read for an hour before lights out.

One time last month during my severe crash - just one time! - I gave in and completely "took a day off," setting aside the laptop and the to-do list and truly resting. I watched two old favorite 80's movies - Dirty Dancing and Flashdance (feel good movies) - and read on my deck. I felt so much better for it!

I know I need to do that more often, but I find it so difficult. I know intellectually that to keep working (even on my back), to keep my mind working, is not truly restful. But it is still a difficult thing for me to do - to give in completely.

So, I did it again today. By 9:30 am, I set aside the laptop and finished watching a movie I started earlier this week. Then, I lay in my chair on our deck in the fall sunshine and read my novel. After that, I had an early lunch and enjoyed an episode of Gilmore Girls, then went upstairs to meditate and take my nap. Now that's resting. And do you know what? By the time I went up for my nap, I felt a lot better already.

I don't know why it takes extreme circumstances to finally force me to to truly rest. I know my body needs it. I'm a smart person - I should have figured this out by now, after 13 years of illness. But I still find it very difficult to completely give in and give up on being productive.

Am I the only one who has this problem? Do others find it hard to truly rest and relax? How do you rest? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

TV Tuesday: The Good Wife & Madam Secretary

This week's TV Tuesday features two powerful women in excellent back-to-back shows on CBS on Sundays (though we never watch anything when it actually airs anymore!): The Good Wife and Madam Secretary.  Both shows are top-notch: smart, funny, and engaging with excellent writing and casts. My husband and I were thrilled to see both shows return for new seasons two weeks ago.

The Good Wife, starring Julianna Margulies as Alicia Florrick, just started its seventh season, and it hasn't lost any steam. At the beginning of season 1, the show began with Alicia's husband, Peter Florrick, former State's Attorney for Cook County (Chicago), going to jail after a sex and corruption scandal that rocked the city and left Alicia in the spotlight. Publicly, she literally stands by her man in the press conferences, but behind the scenes, she is furious with him for cheating on her - and in such a lurid, public way (he was caught repeatedly with prostitutes). Alicia works hard to protect her two teen children from the media and her husband's scandal. With Peter in jail, Alicia has to go back to work, after 15 years as a stay-at-home mom. She gets a job with a prestigious law firm - Stern, Lockhart & Gardner - though she must start out as an Associate, along with a lot of younger lawyers just out of law school. Will Gardner, one of the firm's partners, was a classmate of hers back in law school, and it seems they might have been more than friends back then.

I won't go into much of the details beyond that starting point, because this show is filled with wonderful plot twists that we never saw coming. Alicia builds her new career, while juggling motherhood, and Peter eventually gets out of jail and resumes his politic career (this is America, after all). I loved Julianna Margulies in ER in the old days, and she is absolutely spectacular as Alicia and has won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for this role. The rest of the cast is just as good, with Chris Noth as the charismatic Peter, and Christine Baranski as Diane Lockhart (another of the firm's partners). Alan Cumming is one of our favorites as Eli Gold, Peter's campaign manager, as is Archie Panjabi as the sexy, mysterious investigator Kalinda Sharma. We were late to this show, finally listening to all the rave reviews from friends and family one summer, when we got the DVDs from the library and binge-watched 3 seasons in a row! You can watch the early seasons free on Amazon Prime or Netflix, and the latest season (2 episodes so far) is available On Demand and on the CBS website (seasons 1 and 7).

As if that wasn't enough, last year CBS also added Madam Secretary to its line-up, and we were soon hooked on that show as well. Tea Leoni stars as Elizabeth McCord, a former CIA operative who is named Secretary of State by the President, who is a former colleague of hers. Right from her first day, it is obvious that Elizabeth is going to do things her way, as her staff, headed by Bebe Neuwirth, rushes to adjust to her open, straight-forward approach. Each episode tackles a new international crisis of some sort - everything from hostages to informants to potential war - which keeps the plots fresh and interesting. If you could find any criticism with the show, it would be that they always manage to solve major world crises in an hour-long show, but we find it easy enough to just go along for the ride because it is so much fun.

At home, Elizabeth is married to World Religions scholar Henry McCord, played by Tim Daly, and they have three children ranging from young teens to young adult. In addition to her constantly changing duties as Secretary of State, Elizabeth must also juggle whatever crises come up with her family. The entire cast here - from Elizabeth's staff to her family and beyond - are all excellent and great fun to watch. There is a lot of chemistry between her staff members and plenty of humor, too, throughout the show. Tea Leoni has always been one of my favorite actresses - she was great in movies like House of D, The Family Man, and Ghost Town, and her crying scene in Spanglish is one of my all-time favorites! She's wonderful in Madam Secretary, as is Tim Daly, and the script is clever, suspenseful, and funny. You can catch up on Season 1 on Netflix or on Amazon Prime (though not free there), and season 2 is currently available On Demand and on the CBS website.


 

Movie Monday: The Life Before Her Eyes

I had a chance last week to watch another Sue-movie (i.e. not action or thriller!) while my husband was golfing, and I chose The Life Before Her Eyes, a haunting movie about friendship and tragedy, available free on Amazon Prime.

The movie opens showing the beginning of a friendship between two very different high school girls, Maureen and Diana. Maureen, a shy, unassuming girl, comes from a religious family and is involved with her church. In contrast, Diana is loud and brash, dresses provocatively, smokes pot, and has sex with inappropriate young men. Her mother is the high school's gym teacher, but she spends a lot of time away from home, leaving Diana on her own. Despite their differences, the two girls bond and become close, two misfits who find each other. Quite early in the film, though, we see a tragedy hit their high school when a boy they know goes on a shooting spree. He comes to the girls' bathroom where Diana and Maureen are hiding and tells them he will kill one of them...but we don't know what happens next.

At that point, the film shifts forward in time. Diana is an adult now, played by Uma Thurman, married to Paul, with a young daughter named Emma. She seems to be living a good life - in a lovely house, teaching art history, and happy with her family - but she is still haunted by the school shooting. From there, the movie follows Diana's current life, with frequent flashbacks to her high school years and her friendship with Maureen. I was a little confused by the movie's ending at first but soon figured it out.

Obviously, since it is focused on a horrific school shooting, this is a dark, sometimes disturbing movie (if you need further proof, it was directed by Vadim Perelman, who also directed The House of Sand and Fog, the most depressing movie my husband and I have ever seen!). It's not all depressing, though - the scenes of Maureen and Diana's growing friendship in high school are warm and poignant, though filled with a sense of foreboding because you know from the beginning that something terrible is coming. It's interesting, though chilling, to see the girls occasionally interact with the boy who will become the shooter. Seeing past and present twisted together makes this a very thoughtful and clever film, though it is a very somber, tragic story. The movie was based on the novel by Laura Kasischke.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

Weekly Inspiration - How To Wake Up

Toni Bernhard is a good friend of mine, though we've never met in person. She and I both got ME/CFS around the same time (2001 for her; 2002 for me), and we "met" online and immediately connected. Toni has written three books about applying Buddhist principles to everyday life. All of her books are applicable to those of us living with chronic illness, and her first and third books, How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers and How To Live Well with Chronic Illness: A Mindful Guide (just published last week!) directly address chronic illness.

Today, though, I am going to focus on her second book, How To Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow, which I just read and reviewed recently (as usual, I am a bit behind!). Although this book was written for anyone who wants more peace and happiness in their life, not just those who are sick, there is plenty of wonderful advice and inspiration in here for those of us living with chronic illness. In fact, I read it while very sick and housebound, and in that respect, my timing was perfect because it really helped me get through a difficult time. You can read my full review at my book blog to understand what the book is all about and see some quotes.

Here are a few additional quotes from How to Wake Up that I found particularly meaningful for those with chronic illness.

Here, Toni discusses impermanence, an important tenet in Buddhism and especially important to those of us living with illness - basically, the concept is that everything in life is always changing, so we should embrace and accept those changes (and even expect them), instead of getting upset over them. Toni summarizes this in simple terms, after offering some ideas for how to put this concept into practice:

"Whether impermanence appears to be friend or foe at the moment, seeing clearly into this universal truth can help us awaken to a peace and well-being that are not dependent on whether events turn out the way we expected them to. Upon getting up each morning, we can reflect on how we can't be certain if the day will unfold as we think it will and then resolve to greet it nonetheless with curiosity and wisdom. Greeting the day with curiosity means being interested in what each moment has to offer. And greeting it with wisdom means not turning away in aversion from our experience, even if it's unpleasant and even if it's not what we hoped for."
          - How To Wake Up by Toni Bernhard

Well, that pretty much describes every day with ME/CFS, doesn't it? We can never count on things going as planned, and we quite frequently encounter a day filled with surprises, where we have to change our plans unexpectedly. Learning to approach life expecting (and accepting) constant change brings a definite sense of peace.

In another chapter, she addresses anger, a subject I definitely need to work on. Though I am generally a calm, peaceful kind of person, certain people in my life can bring out anger and bitterness, usually because they treat me (with respect to my illness) differently than I would like. Toni shares a story we can all relate to: of going to see a new doctor who promises he can help her but then dismisses her brusquely when the tests he ran came back negative. She discusses her feelings of anger and her later realization that she wasn't angry because of the doctor precisely but because of her own expectations, her fervent desire for a miracle cure, and the way she responded to the doctor. She talks about how she addressed those issues and concludes with:

"...But as I like to say about the medical profession, some doctors come through for us and some don't. Just like everything and everyone in life.

Since this incident, I've had two similar experiences with other doctors, and yes, I was disappointed each time. But I didn't get angry. Now I know that anger only harms me. It doesn't get me better medical care, and it doesn't help me regain my health."
          - How To Wake Up by Toni Bernhard

I could go on and on - I have many pages tabbed in my copy of the book! - but I think those selections give you a good idea of how helpful and inspiring this book is (as was her first).

As I mentioned, Toni's third book, How To Live Well with Chronic Illness: A Mindful Guide, was just published this week, so that one is also available now. I plan to read and review that one next month, so stay tuned!

I hope you are as inspired by Toni's wonderful books as I am!

     

2015 NIH Grants for ME/CFS

Hi, it's me! Yes, I am still here - and still struggling with this major crash, six weeks now. I have finally gotten rid of the bronchitis but am left with a bad flare-up of my chronic yeast overgrowth, due to all the antibiotics I had to take. I can tell my symptoms now are due to yeast - severe flu-like aches, mild sore throat, always tired - just from past experience. I am doing all that I can to address it, using all the tools in my anti-yeast kit! Now, it's just a matter of time (I hope). I am making some progress and actually got out into the world (briefly) this week!

I am trying to get back into the routine of regular blogging, but all of my writing has suffered during this rough patch.

National Institutes of Medicine - photo from Health Rising

So, here's a very important post where someone else has done all the hard work for me. I turn once again to Cort Johnson, the dedicated and very talented investigator/writer behind Health Rising. Back in August (yes, I've been down that long!), Cort posted a comprehensive and very informative list of all of the 2015 research grants approved by the NIH (National Institutes of Health in the U.S.) for the study of ME/CFS. As he points out, there are a surprising number of them - just imagine what could be done with research funding to equal other serious diseases!

The grants in this list are not the old "Is CFS depression?" type of studies we saw in the past - these are solid, science-heavy studies on all aspects of our complicated illness - immune dysfunction, genetics, exercise intolerance, the role of infections, and more. And the studies cover women, men (finally!), and even pediatrics (double finally!).

Note that the first study listed on Cort's blog is being led by Ian Lipkin and Maddy Hornig who earlier this year released their data on a ground-breaking study of immune dysfunction in ME/CFS. Ian Lipkin is from outside of the ME/CFS world, known as a world-renowned virologist - definitely a good person to have on our side! But it's not all big names - there are plenty of new researchers in this list of grants, too. That's great news.

In fact, this is all great news! Very exciting to see so many complex studies with such depth to them and to consider the kinds of answers we could get in the coming years on biomarkers, possible causes, and effective treatments. The state of research into ME/CFS has never been better!

TV Tuesday: How To Get Away with Murder

One of our favorite TV shows from last year is back for its second season: How To Get Away With Murder. To give you an idea of how good this show is, our 17-year old son will not watch any TV with us, other than a few half-hour comedies...but he is hooked on this one! He actually sits down with us for an hour each week to see what happens next. It is a show filled with suspense and intrigue, and Viola Davis recently won a Best Drama Series Actress Emmy for her leading role.

On the show, Davis plays Annalise Keating, a law school professor and high-powered defense attorney with a kick-ass attitude. Each year, she chooses five of her law students to assist her in her practice with real cases. She selects those students at the beginning of season one, and they are a diverse group, all ambitious but each with his or her own quirks and secrets. Annalise is also assisted by two lawyers in her practice, Frank and Bonnie (played by Liza Weil, who played Paris on The Gilmore Girls, another current favorite show of mine!). The three lawyers and five law students tackle a variety of cases, all having to do with murder, while Annalise lectures to her Criminal Law class about...you guessed it - how to get away with murder, as a way of teaching them how to be great defense lawyers.

But that's not all. Right from the very first episode, we see that a murder has taken place that involves Annalise and her students. In those first episodes, scenes alternate back and forth between classes and cases and one very frightening night when the five students are trying to cover up a murder and get rid of a body. It takes a while (in fact, the entire first season!) for all of the pieces to fall into place so that the viewers fully understand what happened and who the murderer(s) are, but we were hooked from that very first episode.

But that's not all! So far, two episodes into the second season, there have been a total of 3 murders (so far) committed by various people on Annalise's team! Yup, this is one screwed-up group of people. Meanwhile, amidst all this murder, investigations, and cover-ups, the team keeps trying to act normal, go to classes, and try other cases. Oh, and of course, there is a lot of sex - it seems everyone is getting involved with ill-conceived relationships. Davis is not the only actor on the show worthy of accolades - it is an excellent ensemble cast, and the show is produced by Shonda Rimes, creator of Scandal and Grey's Anatomy.

The rapid-fire way the show is filmed is unique for television, as is its super fast pace. Scandal piles upon scandal, murder piles upon murder. The continuing puzzles in the show - both the ongoing issues among the team and the cases they try - are addictively compelling. You will guess who the murderer is over and over...and probably be wrong every time. If you enjoy reading mysteries and thrillers, you will love this show, though don't expect too many endearing characters!

What favorite TV shows of yours are back for a new season?

NOTE: The second season of How To Get Away With Murder is airing now and available On Demand and on Hulu. Both seasons are available on Netflix, and Season 1 is currently available for the odd price of $0.67 an episode on Amazon Prime.

Movie Monday: The Cake Eaters

sigh...here I am on yet another Monday, apologizing for not posting much last week. Believe it or not, I am still struggling to come out of this crash caused by my annual bout of bronchitis. I am definitely improving but not yet back to my normal baseline. I finished my last round of antibiotics last week, had a clear chest x-ray, and started to be able to do a few things around the house, but now I am struggling with the yeast overgrowth caused by the antibiotics (which is always present in me but badly flared up now). I did take a walk today - my first in over a month! Just 10 minutes - v-e-r-y slowly around our two cul-de-sacs - baby steps!

While my husband was out golfing one evening last week, I indulged in a Sue-movie, i.e. one with no action, car chases, or shooting. This is a rarity for me, with three men in the house usually choosing our movies!

I watched The Cake Eaters (free on Amazon Prime), a different kind of coming-of-age story, wrapped up with a family's struggle with grief. Kristen Stewart plays Georgia, a high school student struggling with Friedreich's Ataxia, a progressive neurological disorder that is very disabling. Georgia manages pretty well in spite of her disabilities; she is a good student and loves to spend time with her quirky, independent grandmother, Marg, played by Elizabeth Ashley. As the film opens, Georgia is escaping from her overprotective mother to spend a day at the flea market with Marg, selling haunting and beautiful black and white portraits her mother has taken of her, to help bring attention to the disease.

At the flea market, they meet Beagle and his dad, played by Aaron Stanford and Bruce Dern, respectively. They are grieving over the loss of Beagle's mother, after a long and difficult illness. Beagle is a young man unsure what to do with his life, now that his mother is gone, because he was totally focused on taking care of her. Now, he works at the high school cafeteria and dabbles in painting. His dad knows Marg and introduces him, and Beagle is immediately drawn to Georgia and not scared off by her disabilities. Soon after, Beagle's older brother, Guy (played by Jayce Bartok), shows up unexpectedly, after being away for three years.

As the three men try to figure out how to get along together and move forward, Beagle and Georgia get closer. Georgia's grandmother urges her to go slowly with Beagle, but Georgia tells her she doesn't have time to wait. The three men struggle with their relationship, secrets are revealed, and Georgia moves forward with her plan to experience all life has to offer before it is too late, despite her mother's attempts to protect her. All of the actors did a great job in these emotional roles, though Stewart was especially convincing in her portrayal of a young woman with a crippling disease. I really enjoyed this intense, coming-of-age family drama that looks at life with chronic illness, a topic not often touched upon in movies. Despite that subject matter, the movie is not depressing but rather focuses on life, love, and moving forward.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

And if you also like to read, check out what we've been reading this past week at my book blog.

TV Tuesday - Mr. Robot

Last week, I introduced a new feature, TV Tuesday! While I have been so severely crashed this past month, I have watched a LOT of TV, so I thought I'd add TV reviews to the blog, in addition to the movies reviews I run on Mondays. I figured plenty of other ME/CFS patients probably enjoy watching TV, too. What else are we going to do while stuck on the couch??

This week, I am highlighting a new show that premiered this summer, Mr. Robot. Although its first season is over, all of the episodes are still available free On Demand or on the USA Network website. This is one of the few shows that my husband and I watched with our 21-year old college son this summer - he usually comes home once a week, and the three of us enjoy watching favorite TV shows together (our younger son doesn't have much interest in TV!)

Mr. Robot is a twisty and suspenseful show about computer hackers and conspiracies. Elliot, played beautifully and cryptically by Rami Malek, is a socially anxious computer programmer who works for a computer security firm. His childhood friend Angela works alongside him and is one of the few people that Elliot can comfortably interact with. Elliot is contacted by a mysterious anarchist hacker organization, headed by a man known only as Mr. Robot, played by Christian Slater. Mr. Robot wants Elliot to join his team, and although Elliot has some misgivings and questions, he gets involved with them because he agrees with their conspiracy goals - to bring down the ever-present E-Corp, known by Elliot and throughout the show as Evil Corp. They represent all the paranoia Elliot feels about the Big Brother-type world we live in, and they are also responsible for the death of Elliot's father and Angela's mother. Carly Chaikin, who we loved in Suburgatory, also co-stars as one of the other hackers working for Mr. Robot. In each episode, the plans to bring down Evil Corp progress, all while Elliot tries to keep up appearances in his day job and maintain his friendship with Angela. Through it all, we also see Elliot's weekly mandatory meetings with a therapist, though we don't know why.

The show is filmed in a jerky, realistic way in New York City, almost as if from a handheld camera. Elliot narrates the show in a voice-over in which he talks directly to the audience. This approach and the cinematography add to the jumpy, paranoid feel of the story. All in all, it feels more like a movie than a typical TV show, and all three of us have been hooked right from the start. We still have a couple of episodes left to watch, so no spoilers, please! We've already been blown away by some major plot twists that we never saw coming, and we can't wait to see how the season ends.

If you've seen Mr. Robot, what did you think?

What are your favorite TV shows now?

Here's a short preview of Mr. Robot:

Movie Monday 9/28: The Words

Here I am again on Monday, apologizing for not writing on the blog much last week! I thought last week would be better, finally, and I did improve a little bit at the start of the week, but I hit bottom again by Thursday night. In case you haven't been keeping track (I have!), that's a full month now of being housebound and mostly incapacitated. Despite being at the end of my 2nd round of antibiotics, I still have some bronchitis symptoms, though much milder now. I did actually feel a little better this morning after an awful weekend, but I'm afraid to sound too hopeful after last week!

Anyway, not much writing time/energy last week, but I had plenty of time for reading and watching TV & movies again! My husband was out of town, so I chose a movie with absolutely no action, shooting, or car chases:

I watched The Words, an intricate story within a story within a story. The film opens with Dennis Quaid as Clay Hammond, an acclaimed author reading from his latest novel at a posh event in NYC. The action then shifts to the story that Hammond is reading, about a struggling young writer named Rory Jansen, played by Bradley Cooper, and his beautiful longtime girlfriend Dora, played by Zoe Saldana. Rory wants to be a novelist, but his father is urging him to join the family business or at least "get a real job" so he can support himself. Rory spends years working away at a literary novel and finally sends it out. It is rejected by every agent in NY, though one agent calls him into his office to explain that it's a beautiful piece of writing but won't sell. Rory finally gets a ground-level job as mail boy at a large literary agency and asks Dora to marry him. They honeymoon in Paris, where Rory admires an old leather briefcase in an antique shop, so Dora buys it for him. After returning home, Rory discovers a manuscript hidden in the old case, about a WWII American soldier stationed in Paris who fell in love with a young French woman - and at that point, the action switches again to that story, as Rory reads about the young man and woman in Paris and is brought to tears by the beautifully written story. Frustrated that he can't seem to write anything himself, Rory starts to retype the old manuscript in his computer, just to feel the perfectly written story come through his fingertips. Dora finds the file the next day, assumes that he wrote it, and urges him to submit it. The novel is published and both it and Rory became a huge success. He tries to forget his guilt over copying the manuscript, until he meets an old man who claims that he wrote the story, back in Paris decades ago.

This is a story told in layers, as Clay narrates his novel about Rory and Rory copies the story about the then-young man in Paris. But mostly, it is a story about an ethical dilemma and the aftermath of ignoring your conscience. Though its main topic is plagiarism, this movie isn't just for writers. It's about life and dreams, decisions and consequences. The acting is all top-notch, as you might have guessed from the all-star cast, and the plot is unique and intricate. Though I set out to choose a movie different from the thrillers we usually watch, The Words has its own kind of suspense, as you wonder whether Rory will get away with his crime, how he'll fix things with the old man, and what Clay's own story is. It kept me riveted - and guessing - right up until the end.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

P.S. If you like to read, head over to my book blog's Monday post to see what we are reading this week!

TV Tuesday 9/22 - The Wire

Because of my illness, I watch quite a bit of television. I am usually wiped out and needing to lie down by evening, so my husband and I watch two TV shows together in the evening (and sometimes Jeopardy, too!). That's our time together, and we enjoy watching favorite shows. I also watch something on my own (something with no action or suspense - ha ha!) at lunchtime, to help myself relax and slow down for my afternoon nap.

So, I figured other ME/CFS patients probably also watch a lot of TV - why not do some TV reviews as well as my weekly movie reviews? So, here we go - TV Tuesday! Each week, I will highlight a different TV show. Between TV seasons the past few weeks (and with me so sick), my husband and I were searching for something new to watch, so we settled on a decade-old HBO series that we'd heard great things about (and that is available for free now on Amazon Prime):

We started watching The Wire last week, and we are completely hooked now! The show takes place n Baltimore (a city close to us) and focuses on the drug trade in the projects there. Both the Homicide and Narcotics departments of the Baltimore Police Department are interested in a particular drug dealer who controls a whole area and whom they suspect is responsible for at least a dozen murders. A judge notices this activity and requests that the Baltimore PD set up a special commission to take down this gang leader. The police department heads aren't thrilled with this order, so they reluctantly comply, donating some of their worst dead weight officers to the cause. This ragtag group is given a basement office and sets out to try to catch one of the city's most notorious and untouchable criminals.

Dominic West does a great job as Detective McNaulty, the Homicide detective that started this whole thing and is completely obsessed with catching this guy. Two of our favorite actors from Treme (another amazing show!), Wendell Pierce and Clarke Peters, star as other detectives, and Sonja Sohn is excellent as the lead Narcotics officer on the case. The show alternates between the points of view of the people involved in the drug trade (some of them just kids) and the police officers investigating, so you see both perspectives, as well as the officers' private lives. The show has really grown on us, and by the third episode, we were liking it more and more. The acting is excellent, the gritty setting is very realistic (luckily, we haven't seen much of this side of Baltimore before), and the twisty, intricate plot has sucked us in completely. Given the subject matter (and its origins on HBO), there is some violence and lots of swearing. So if that bothers you, this show is probably not for you. If it doesn't bother you, then the scene where McNaulty and his partner investigate a crime scene for 10 minutes using only the f-word is pretty hilarious!

That's what we're watching this week. What TV shows are you enjoying in between the summer and fall seasons?

Movie Monday 9/21 - Coherence

I was still very, very sick last week (perhaps finally starting to perk up a bit today? maybe?), so I watched a LOT of TV and read a lot. I really tried to rest and stop trying to get things done (tough for me!), so one day I indulged in a couple of old 80's movies: Dirty Dancing and Flashdance. What fun! Dirty Dancing is one of my favorite movies of all-time and the music and dancing in both put a big smile on my face - just what I needed.

This weekend, my husband and I watched a sci fi movie on Amazon Prime, Coherence, that I couldn't wait to tell you about! It was so mind-blowingly good. This quiet little movie has the kind of twisty plot that I love, the kind that you often encounter in time travel movies, though this was different. It starts out with a rather mundane scene - eight friends gather together for a dinner party. You gradually get to know them a bit, as they come in and reconnect and chat over wine and dinner. One topic of conversation is a comet that is passing extremely close to earth that night. Em says that she read about weird things happening the last time a comet came this close, about 100 years ago, and Hugh says that his brother, who is a theoretical physicist, told him to call him if he noticed anything strange tonight. First, a couple of cell phones spontaneously shatter, and the whole group loses cell coverage. Then, the power goes out, and the real fun starts. I won't tell you any more about what happens because that would ruin your fun, but things get really weird after that! There's not much violence - it's not like a horror movie. It's more of a cerebral scariness, as the group of friends (and the viewer) very gradually figure out what is going on. There are no huge stars in this film - it is truly an ensemble cast - but the acting is all very good. It is a clever, mind-bending movie that will have you gasping right until the very last moment (great ending).

If you liked Coherence, you might also like Sliding Doors (which is mentioned in Coherence) and The Butterfly Effect (two of my favorites).

Have you seen any good movies lately?

Latest ProHealth Article: Finding Community

Sorry I haven't been writing much lately - I am STILL badly crashed. It's been three weeks today, and I am still confined to the couch with no energy. The tightness in my chest has finally eased the last two days, so I am hoping that is a good sign, though I am still exhausted.

So, I have been engaging in what I call Aggressive Rest - not just lying on the couch while still trying to get stuff done but putting down the laptop, not attempting any work or writing, and REALLY resting. So, my days have been filled with reading in my lounge chair on the deck, napping, meditating, and watching a lot of TV and old movies.

While I am aggressively resting, I thought you could enjoy my latest article up at the ProHealth website: Birds of a Feather: The Joys of Community, all about finding and enjoying a sense of community, both locally and online.

It's fitting that this article was published last week because my virtual community of fellow ME/CFS patients has been essential to me these past few weeks. I haven't left the house, except for 2 visits to the doctor, and until yesterday, my throat hurt too much to talk on the phone. The only people I've seen in weeks are my husband and sons. I've even been avoiding chatting much on Facebook with my In Real Life friends & family because I know it makes most people feel uncomfortable to hear about chronic illness.

Instead, during my brief times online, I have been enjoying Twitter (@livewithmecfs) - I can manage 140 characters at a time! - and my Facebook page for this blog. In those places, I can talk about how I'm feeling and joke and laugh about watching silly 80's movies or old episodes of Glee (my comfort TV!) without feeling self-conscious. I know that other people with ME/CFS will immediately understand - that they are likely going through the same stuff (or have before).

So, I hope you enjoy the article and that it inspires you to find your own people, your own community. It adds so much meaning to our lives to connect with others like ourselves! And if you don't have your own community yet, join the discussions here on the blog, on Twitter, or on my Facebook page - we get you.

Movie Monday: Hot Pursuit & Shaun the Sheep

Hope you had a good weekend! I was still very sick, so we stuck with some light, fun movies this weekend (I also comforted myself with old Glee episodes!) - nothing too taxing to the brain here, just some good laughs:

My husband and I watched Hot Pursuit Saturday night, a light, fun movie. Reese Witherspoon stars as Officer Cooper, a rookie cop who was pretty much born into the job and wants to live up to her father's great reputation in the department. So far, that isn't going so well, as she's responsible for turning their last name into a verb as in "You really Coopered that one." She has finally been given a real assignment out from behind a desk, to serve as a female escort for Daniella Riva, the wife of a Columbian drug dealer played by Sofia Vergara. Riva's husband is scheduled to testify against a big drug lord in Dallas the next morning, and Cooper must make sure his wife stays safe until then. Things go awry right away, though (as they tend to do in these movies!), and Cooper and Riva find themselves on the run together, along with Riva's suitcase full of shoes. The running joke is that they are an oddly mismatched set: tiny, by-the-book police officer Cooper in her spotless uniform and tall, voluptuous break-the-rules Riva in her tight dress and stiletto heels. The movie is as titled, one long chase, as the odd couple try to avoid both angry drug dealers and bad cops. It's mildly amusing and has some funny moments, though there is nothing too spectacular here. Many of the jokes are predictable, with Reese's height and Sofia's looks and/or age the butt of most of them. But Reese is at her most adorable and Sofia is...well, classic Sofia (aka Gloria from Modern Family), and the two do seem to be having fun together. Perhaps the producers were trying to recreate the success of The Heat, the girl cop-buddy movie starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy from a few years ago, but that movie had more depth to it and was funnier. Hot Pursuit is a light bit of cotton candy, escapist fun.

Sunday night, we actually got our 17-year old son to watch a movie with us, a rare occasion these days! We watched Shaun the Sheep, the latest movie from Aardman Animation, with our son and his girlfriend. This was another bit of light fun for a sick day, with plenty of laughs. If you are unfamiliar with Aardman, they created the amazing Wallace and Gromit claymation series (4 30-minute shorts), as well as the feature-length movie Chicken Run and the hilarious TV show, Creature Comforts (both British and American versions). We are long-time fans of all of these at our house! Shaun the Sheep is a character from one of the Wallace and Gromit episodes (A Close Shave) - his name is a play on words, as in "shorn" - seen here in his first feature-length movie (though the character already has his own TV cartoon show). Like Chicken Run, Shaun the Sheep begins in a quiet barnyard in England. The farmer, his dog, and the sheep are all a bit tired of the same old routine, so when the sheep spy an ad on the side of a bus to "Take a Day Off," they come up with a plan to keep the farmer from his usual routine for a day, while they relax in the house with snacks and TV (a very funny scene). Things go wrong, though, and the farmer ends up in the Big City down the road with amnesia, so the sheep (and the dog) take off to rescue him. Hilarity ensues as the animals try to disguise themselves, find their way around the city, stay away from the evil Animal Control man, and find the farmer. Like other Aardman projects, this movie is funny and very, very clever, filled with more sight gags than you could possibly spot in three viewings or more. There are no words spoken in the 90-minute film - the humans speak in a sort of Peanuts-style garble - but it manages to tell a story beautifully without them. We all enjoyed it and laughed a lot, though all agreed it wasn't quite as good as the original Wallace and Gromit series (what could be?). A great choice for kids that will amuse the grown-ups in the family, too.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

              

Weekly Inspiration: The Bend in the Road

Happy Sunday! I am enjoying a lovely morning out on my back deck - quiet, peaceful, and COOL for the first time since spring - ahhhh! And after two and a half weeks of being badly crashed and flat on my back, I think I am finally feeling a bit better this morning.

Today's inspiration comes from a book that I read and loved this summer. For the first time in my life, I read the childhood classic Anne of Green Gables (my review at link) by H.M. Montgomery and fell in love with exuberant Anne, as generations have before me. Anne is an orphan girl who goes to live with brother and sister Matthew and Marilla who were hoping for a boy to help with their farm. But Anne brings something better than manual labor into their quiet, routine lives - she brings joy.

I wrote down a lot of favorite quotes from the classic novel. Many of my favorites were Anne exclaiming over the natural beauty around her or the joy inherent in life, like these:

"Isn't it a splendid thing that there are mornings?"

"It's been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you can make up your mind firmly that you will."

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." (me, too!)

But toward the end of the novel (don't worry, no spoilers), something very unexpected happens in Anne's joyful life that completely changes the plans she'd made for herself. I could really relate to this passage in the way that chronic illness suddenly changed my own life path, and Anne's determination to make the best of this new, unforeseen life:

"I shall give life here my best, and I believe it will give its best to me in return. When I left [where I was] my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend. I wonder how the road beyond it goes - what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows - what new landscapes - what new beauties - what curves and hills and valleys further on."

"Anne's horizons had closed in since the night she had sat there after coming home...; but if the path set before her feet was to be narrow she knew that flowers of quiet happiness would bloom along it."

          - Anne of Green Gables by H.M. Montgomery

I especially like that last line.

These passages express how I feel about my life now, 13 years since getting sick (though I can't claim to have had Anne's upbeat attitude at the beginning!). Yes, there's been a bend in the road, but I can still find joys in my life every day. It's a different life than I had foreseen for myself all those years ago, but it has its own set of unique characteristics to be grateful for.

Have you read Anne of Green Gables? How do you feel about Anne's words on accepting change and looking forward? What "flowers of quiet happiness" have you discovered along your own narrowed path of life with chronic illness, beyond the bend in the road?

(By the way, if you are looking for some light, easy reading that is uplifting and joyful, this is a wonderful novel! During my last two weeks very sick, when I was having trouble concentrating, I found that middle-grade novels were the perfect solution.)

New Study: Using Phenylephrine for Orthostatic Intolerance

I am a little behind in reporting this, but a recent study sponsored by the NIH (National Institutes of Health in the U.S.) and the Solve ME/CFS Initiative points to a potential treatment for Orthostatic Intolerance that could help a number of ME/CFS symptoms.

As explained in greater detail in this post, Orthostatic Intolerance (OI) is an umbrella term encompassing Neurally Mediated Hypotension (NMH) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), as well as other rarer forms of OI. Previous studies show that about two-thirds of people with ME/CFS have POTS and over 97% have NMH, so OI is something that affects everyone with ME/CFS in one way or another. Bottom line is that our bodies have trouble maintaining a steady heart rate and/or blood pressure when we are upright.

OI results from a number of dysfunctional systems (like many aspects of ME/CFS). Some of the causes behind OI that are common (perhaps even characteristic) in ME/CFS include: low blood volume, endocrine problems - the right neurotransmitters are not released in the right amounts at the right times, and poor vascular control. The end result of this combination of effects is that when we are upright, our heart rates increase and/or our blood pressure decreases and our bodies have trouble properly circulating blood to our hearts and our brains. Instead, the blood often pools in our lower extremities (some people's feet and lower legs turn a purple color after standing for even 10 minutes).

Phenylephrine Improves OI (picture from Health Rising)

This study in particular looked at phenylephrine, a common over-the-counter medication used most often as a mild decongestant (sold as Sudafed PE or as a store brand with PE in it, like Walphed PE at Walgreen's). This is not to be confused with pseudoephedrine (sold as Sudafed) which is a much stronger decongestant. These decongestants work because they are vaso-constrictors - they constrict blood vessels. In the case of treating congestion, they reduce the swelling in the sinus passages by constricting the tiny blood vessels there.

However, they also act as vaso-constrictors throughout the body, not just in the sinuses. In this study, the researchers treated OI with phenylephrine via injection. It had a very positive effect on the patients, improving blood flow to the brain and improving their cognitive function.

This doesn't seem like big news to me because vaso-constrictors have long been used as an effective treatment for OI in ME/CFS. Midodrine is a prescription vaso-constrictor that is frequently prescribed for OI and helps many people. I personally have noticed that when I take pseudoephedrine (aka Sudafed) for allergies or a headache, it improves my OI symptoms. In fact, I sometimes take it for exactly that purpose if I have to go out in the evening, and its vaso-constricting properties do indeed improve my stamina.

What's new here is the use of phenylephrine (PE), which is a milder vasoconstrictor, to treat OI and administering it as an injection. In fact, the researchers said it didn't have the same effects when taken orally. I found that interesting because I actually take phenylephrine (just OTC Sudafed PE) every morning for my allergies, and I do find that it helps my OI a bit, though not as obviously as pseudoephedrine.

Both phenylephrine and pseudoephedrine are available over-the-counter as decongestants, though if you decide to try pseudoephedrine, you should do so under a doctor's supervision - it is a strong enough vaso-constrictor that it can sometimes cause heart palpitations. And I avoid taking either decongestant within 4 hours of bedtime or my nap because they can be stimulating.

In any case, it is good to see some research being done into currently available treatments for OI in ME/CFS. As many of us have discovered, treating OI can lead to dramatic improvements in all ME/CFS symptoms because it underlies so many of our problems. Both of my sons benefited greatly from Florinef, which allowed them both to return to school full-time when they were younger, and my older son and I have both had excellent success with beta blockers for treating OI - they have greatly improved our stamina and ability to be active.

Health Rising published a far more detailed review of this study or you can see the abstract of the actual study or the full report at these links.

What has been your experience with phenylephrine, pseudoephedrine, midodrine, or other OI treatments?

Riding the Chronic Illness Roller Coaster

This summer, I began writing articles for the ProHealth website (an excellent source of information on all aspects of our illnesses), for their Inspirational Corner. This article was published on July 25: Riding the Chronic Illness Roller Coaster (reprinted here with their permission):

Riding the Chronic Illness Roller Coaster

The song Helter Skelter (originally by The Beatles) often goes through my mind when I go from feeling fine one day to being badly crashed the next. It resonates with my sense of climbing up only to find myself on a ride back down again. For those of us with ME/CFS and fibromyalgia, life is like a rollercoaster. Not everyone with ME/CFS or fibromyalgia experiences physical ups and downs – some people feel about the same every day – but all of us living with chronic illness deal live with an emotional rollercoaster. Kubler-Ross famously identified five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. What many people don’t realize is that these stages don’t occur linearly and aspects that you think you are done with (like anger or depression) can recur over time.

I have found this to be very true in my own life. I certainly experienced all of those stages of grief at the beginning of my illness and even got stuck in depression for a while. For the most part, I feel that I am fully in acceptance mode now, 13 years later. However, once in a while, those other emotions still appear and surprise me.

I am generally a very happy, optimistic person. That’s just my natural temperament, and I am usually content with my life, even with chronic illness. I’ve made peace with my new normal and accept my limitations; I’ve learned to find joy within my restricted life. Every once in a while, though, even after 13 years, despair will just hit me with the force of a tidal wave. I’ll suddenly feel depressed, abandoned, and like a failure. I’ll cry and grieve over all the things I can no longer do. This dark state of mind might last for a day or two and then I gradually come back to my normal happy self – riding the emotional rollercoaster.

I’ve learned over the years that these sudden storms of despair often accompany a physical worsening of symptoms or a crash. That tells me it is tied to the biochemistry in my brain. It helps a bit to understand this, though it is hard to be logical in the midst of that darkness.

So, what helps when I hit bottom? The first key is to recognize that what you are feeling is normal and natural and will eventually pass. This is easier said than done! Those feelings are very real when you are in the midst of them, and it can be hard to remind yourself that you are at the mercy of changing biochemicals. However, reminding myself that these are transient feelings that will pass, just as they have before, can help immensely. I think of it as riding the wave – allowing myself to feel what I am feeling, while acknowledging that it is temporary.

Over the years I have developed some other coping mechanisms when despair hits:

·      Think about/write down what you are grateful for. It helps to remind yourself that things aren’t as black as they seem, that you still have some positive things in your life – family, friends, good books, birds singing outside your window. I wrote previously here about keeping a Joy Journal [LINK?] – writing down each day the little things that brought you joy – and that can help now, too.

·      Reach out to others. These illnesses are isolating anyway and even more so when you are feeling emotionally low. If you have understanding friends or family, tell them you are feeling down. Just sharing those feelings with a loved one can help (make sure it is someone who can be empathetic and not make things worse). You can also share your feelings online with others who you know will understand, in discussion groups or Facebook groups for your illness. For me, that often means writing a blog post, and I am always comforted by the outpouring of support and understanding when I do admit to feeling down.

·      Take care of yourself. Focus on your own needs and do things that you enjoy: read a good book, watch a favorite TV show or movie (a funny one is even better!), take a nap, listen to an audiobook. Do whatever brings you comfort.

·      Be kind to yourself. If you are going through a bad period emotionally (or physically), don’t try to be productive and get things done or push yourself in any way. Indulge in comforting rituals, like a favorite herbal tea, a piece of dark chocolate, staying in bed. Don’t berate yourself for feeling down. Let others take care of you.

·      Help others. It may sound counter-intuitive, but helping other people can be a great way to help yourself. It feels good to be of use or to know that you helped someone. Reach out through your social media networks, chronic illness groups, or to close friends or family. Helping others has been one of the biggest unforeseen benefits of our illnesses in my family.

If none of these kinds of things work or you are stuck in a serious depression that lasts more than a few days, seek professional help. Start with a local referral service or search online. Look for a therapist who has experience with chronic illness (call the office and ask that question before you book an appointment). If you are too sick to leave the house or can’t find anyone locally, look online – there are therapists specializing in chronic illness who will work with you via Skype. In my first few years of chronic illness, I struggled to adjust to my new life of limitations; when my two sons also got sick, I sunk even deeper into despair. I found a wonderful local psychologist (through my husband’s workplace referral service) who had a grown son with ME/CFS. She understood what I was going through and helped me immensely.

Most of all, I have learned to focus on one day at a time. Considering a lifetime with this illness is too overwhelming. Thinking about all that I want to do with my life in light of my current restrictions is just too depressing. It’s better to focus on small goals, on getting through each day, even each hour, and taking care of myself now. Those black feelings will come sometimes, but I know they will also pass.

Suzan Jackson is a freelance writer who has had ME/CFS for 13 years. Both of her sons also got ME/CFS, but one is now fully recovered after 10 years of illness and the other is in college. She writes two blogs: Learning to Live with ME/CFS (with an emphasis on LIVE!) at http://livewithcfs.blogspot.com and Book By Book at http://bookbybook.blogspot.com. 

Movie Monday (Tuesday) 9/8

Well, I missed Monday, so this week it's Movie Tuesday! It's not so much that yesterday was Labor Day but that I've been really, really sick this past week and a half with my semi-annual bout of bronchitis. It's a bad one this time, and I am still feeling awful, but I wanted to write these movie reviews.

When my husband went golfing Friday evening, I used the opportunity to watch a movie that had no suspense, action, thriller or sci fi themes! I chose The Spectacular Now, a high school drama/comedy, for my Sue-only movie night. Miles Teller stars as Sutter, a popular high school boy who is dating a similarly popular girl at school. Sutter is well-liked and affable, always joking around and having fun. When his girlfriend breaks up with him, his normally heavy drinking habit veers into extreme territory. He passes out one night on a random lawn and wakes up to see Aimee, a quiet, smart, kind of geeky girl from his school whom he barely knows, staring down at him. Sutter and Aimee, played wonderfully by Shailene Woodley, start hanging out together and begin to get to know each other. They are very different but both struggle with mothers who won't listen. Sutter and Aimee become closer, but Sutter's drinking and his lack of drive about his future begin to get in the way. I love high school dramas (big Gleek here!), and my husband's not so into them, so I really enjoyed this movie. It has the perfect mix of funny moments mixed with serious issues and very realistic problems, and both young actors were excellent, especially Teller as the fun-loving boy who doesn't know what comes after high school.

Saturday night, my husband and I both watched Kingsman: the Secret Service, a freebie from Redbox (though we forgot to return it for 2 nights, so not so free after all!). Colin Firth plays Harry, an undercover agent in a super-secret private spy organization headed up by Arthur, played by Michael Caine. Harry recruits an unlikely young man nicknamed Eggsy, played by Taron Egerton, to try out for an open position in the Kingsman. Eggsy is often in trouble, but his father saved Harry's life, and Harry thinks he has potential. Eggsy is up against some stiff competition for the position, with many of his fellow recruits coming from wealthy families. Since this is a spy movie, it need a super-villain: Richmond Valentine, a high-tech billionaire played by Samuel L. Jackson. The Kingsman and their recruits are trying to stop Valentine from destroying the world (naturally). Sounds like a classic spy movie set-up, right? And it is, except for the odd tone of the movie. It feels like it can't make up its mind whether it is a serious spy thriller or a funny spoof, so it falls somewhere in between. In many scenes, you don't know whether you are supposed to be taking it seriously or laughing at it; the comedy feels kind of awkward. There is plenty of action, and we enjoyed the spy thriller elements and all-star cast, but its attempts at humor fell a bit flat for us.

With me sick all weekend, we also watched a lot of TV and enjoyed a mini-series from HBO (originally from BBC and available now on Amazon Prime) called 5 Days, which felt more like a movie than a typical TV show. A woman and her two children go missing at the beginning of the first episode, and the 5 episodes cover 5 different days during the 79-day investigation. It's a crime thriller with an excellent British cast that spends as much time with the lost and frantic family of the victims as it does with the main investigators on the police force, going in-depth with both sets of characters. It's a great mix of drama and suspense that kept us guessing right up until the very end. We found it very compelling and easily watched the whole thing over the course of the weekend - we couldn't wait to find out what would happen next!

Have you seen any good movies lately?