Friday, January 22, 2010

In Limbo

How did it get to be Friday already? This week wasn't the quiet, restful week I had imagined it would be, in spite of the fact that we had no major events, celebrations, or visitors. Jamie came home at 11:30 am each day (he had mid-term exams all week), and Craig was home sick Tuesday and I had to go pick him up this morning. So, not much quiet time.

Craig had a severe crash last night. He came home from school feeling terrible, said his OI was bad all day and that a friend told him he looked pale (12-year old boys don't normally notice things like that!). Instead of running outside to play like he usually does, he just crashed onto the couch until he went to bed at 7:30 pm. He had a sore throat, congestion, aches, 101 degree fever, and was totally wiped out. He slept for a solid 12 hours and woke up feeling pretty good, so I took him to school. The nurse called a few hours later, and I went back to pick him up. Now he's feeling good again and is outside playing (it's Friday - why reign him in?). Hard to tell what's going on - a brief crash triggered by a virus maybe or even the start of a cold (Craig's immune system is less abnormal than mine and Jamie's, so he does occasionally get a cold).

I've been sort of in limbo all week, in part because I haven't had much time to myself and in part because I haven't felt well. I haven't been severely crashed - not like last week when I had to spend a day in bed - but I haven't felt good either. I never had a day when I was well enough to get groceries, so I guess Ken will have to do that on Saturday morning (something he hates to do). I managed to cobble together another meal plan for tonight with whatever scraps are left in the house!

Mentally, I've felt in limbo, too. Despite my proclamation that this past Monday was my January 1, I still haven't finished my traditional year-end review and goals for the new year. I did think about it enough that I came to a conclusion: I have to give something up. I'm sick of feeling overwhelmed and not making any progress with work (freelance writing), and I know it's not good for my health. I have too many balls in the air. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and have decided what I need to do. This is very difficult for me because I tend to be overly ambitious and want to be involved in everything at once. With CFS now, I just can't. I'll tell you more about it next week - I need to get some things in place first. (don't worry - I'm not giving up my CFS blog - it's my lifeline!!)

So, while I'm glad it's the weekend, I'm feeling like this was sort of a lost week. I wasn't very productive. On the bright side, we have absolutely nothing planned for the weekend, so maybe we'll finally have a chance to take down our Christmas tree! Definitely a good weekend for some movies, too. Happy Friday!


  1. I feel a bit like this myself and I did not leave the house all week..actually not for the last 3 weeks (ugh)
    Sorry to hear your son crashed so badly. Hopefully resting will do the trick...sounds like it.
    Some weeks just seem to be spent focusing on putting one foot in front of the other....with our eyes closed!
    Hope the weekend goes better.

  2. I can't wait to hear of your plans, Sue, now that my heart rate has slowed upon hearing it WON'T be giving up your CFS blog. A lot of us depend on it to help lift us up. This post is just another example of how you do that. Here you are, so sick yourself, yet taking good care of your family. I am so glad though that you've come up with a plan to cut back on your commitments. I'll await further news, hoping that you get to rest this weekend.

  3. I'm glad to hear that you're better than last week. But sorry to hear that it's still been tough. Sounds like you've had your hands full (when your hands were already full). Just remember that tomorrow is a new day and it's okay to take a little more time. The important thing is that you take care of yourself. As I told Shelli, I wish I lived closer to help with things. I guess the virtual hugs will have to do. {{{ }}}

  4. I have lost weeks all the time, so I totally get what you are saying. I hope that making your decision will help you feel more focused!

  5. Sue,
    It's hard to give up something, I know, but I really think it's what we all need to do so I applause you!

  6. May I make a suggestion? Don't give up too much, just make some tweaks. Perhaps build in some 'me' time that isn't writing; take a short walk everyday or do some meditation. Maybe all that's required here is a slight touch on the tiller rather than a course change.

    I'll watch this space with interest. Roll on Spring eh?

  7. Wow, can I relate to this post! I have been having back to back weeks that aren't horrible but not great either. This week I found myself in bed 3 days out of 7. Not good.

    I also understand the 'paring down' of our commitments. That is so hard to do. A necessity if we are to do well but not an easy decision by any means.

    Know that you are not alone in this journey! I look forward to finding out what you have decided.

    Hope you weekend is more calm, restful, and peaceful.