Tuesday, March 02, 2010

My Ill-iversary

Eight years ago today, on March 2, 2002, my life changed dramatically. That was the day that divided my life into before and after.

I was going to include a quote from my journal from that date, but the only remarkable thing about what I wrote is how unremarkable it was. I felt awful that day, but I had no idea that my life had just forever changed; I just thought I'd caught a virus (and maybe I had?). I never dreamed that eight years later, I'd still be sick and certainly never could have guessed that both of my sons would also be chronically ill. How could such a significant day in my life seem so ordinary at the time?

For many years, March 2 marked not only my CFS anniversary but also a low point in my condition (check out my 5-year anniversary post). Fortunately, today I felt much better than I have recently.

I was in really bad shape yesterday. I was not only recovering form a hectic weekend, but I also had a bit a stomach virus. As usual, I didn't really get it full-blown, but I had severe stomach cramps for about 24 hours, plus felt badly crashed. I was much better today and even - ready for this? - went grocery shopping! Woohoo - first time in weeks I made it to the grocery store. No payback yet - I'll let you know tomorrow!

So, another year has gone by, and the boys and I still have CFS. I hope that some day, some year, March 2 will lose its meaning for me.


Toni said...

Hi Sue,

I too have a journal entry. It's of the moment I realized I was chronically ill. It's not a record of what we thought was the onset of an acute viral infection. No, it's an entry on the day I woke up, a few weeks after we thought I'd recovered from the acute infection and realized something was terribly wrong.

The end of May will mark 9 years from when I got that viral infection. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all stop counting the months and the years.

Take care.

Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

Glad to have found your blog. I appreciate all the information I can get. Look forward to reading more. Found you on Pams Perspective. wish you the best.

Shelli said...

Maybe one of these anniversaries of ours will be celebrated with an announcement that they've found a cure.

Thanks for your kind words and the never ending source of support and information. You have turned this trial of yours into a blessing for many.

dominque said...

20 years is a long time with this illness. I think I sometimes wonder if I will see the cure in my lifetime. I hope I do, but sometimes I do find myself wondering.

I think it is interesting how we all understand that when we do something, we may have to deal with the payback from our bodies. If you had told me 20 years ago, that this would be occurring in my body, I would have never believed you.

On the up side, Toni has made it 9+ years, you have made it 8+ years and I am going on 20+ years. That is a testament to our tenacity!

Renee said...

Such an anniversary....I did not realize what was destroying my body until 1991 when I was told by Mayo Clinic that I had CFS and to go home, rest, and get therapy and it would go away! Even though it was a tick bite in 1985 that started this journey, late March 1991 is the date I remember...getting sick and spending 9 mo in bed. It would not be until 16 yrs later that I was diagnosed with Lyme..

It takes courage to keep waking up each day and making the best of it! Congrats Sue and to your boys for your courage and ability to live a great life inspite of your illnesses...anniversaries and all.

Never That Easy said...

I wish that for you too - someday, we'll both be celebrating anniversaries of a completely different sort. Here's hoping.

Glad you were up to shopping today, and hope that payback is minimal.

Ms.F. said...

I hope & pray that you soon have some new special dates - the dates you and your sons start to get better.

Lori P said...

Hi Sue, I'm not going anywhere NEAR "happy anniversary". The good thing is that you're better than you were. There's always hope, right?

Glad to hear you made it out and I hope you don't feel any ill effects. Have a good day.

Dusty Bogwrangler said...

Happy Ill-iversary Sue! I love that, I'm going to use it when mine comes round sometime in October.

Sometimes even going to the shops is exciting. I talk to people when I'm there. I'm turning into one of those bonkers old ladies.

So glad you are feeling better - even relatively. Spring is just around the corner.

Unknown said...

I 'celebrate' my ill-iversay as well. I have a pity party to celebrate.

I remember one year having the pity party with my dog who was recovering from an operation at the time- we had a lot of fun!

Here's hoping next year you'll have a proper celebration for feeling well, or as Shelli wonderfully put it, a cure!

Kerry said...

Sue, Reading this post gave me shivers (the emotionally moving shivers)...I think because of the reality you lived, that one innocent day, that one seemingly innocent (at least temporary) bug changing your life and that of your families.

I don't have a recorded "ill-iversity"--but there's something that seems healthy in marking it, in processing it. We still don't know if mine was the virus, the car accident, or both.

Glad you are feeling a little better--glad you could get to that grocery store (feels like going to disneyland sometimes doesn't it--the wonder of being able to do a once simple thing!)