Saturday, September 04, 2010

Quote It Saturday 9/4

Soooo glad it's Saturday!!  Although I enjoyed some quiet solitude this week with the kids back in school, I was pretty badly crashed for most of it (all from a bit too much weeding).  I started to feel better on Thursday, but that's when things got hectic again!  Had to pick up the house for our cleaning service and run errands (that I hadn't gotten to earlier in the week).  Yesterday, the boys were off from school.  Jamie and I were both exhausted, but we had to drive to New Jersey for our Lyme doctor's appointments.  That totally did me in!  I didn't get my nap until 3:30 pm and by then, I was a wreck. 

Jamie left for a weekend at the beach with his two best friends, I picked Craig up from his friend's house, and Ken was out golfing.  Craig and I holed up in the family room with Stouffer's lasagna (lactose be damned) and a DVD.  I spent the entire evening on the couch and am doing a bit better this morning.  The horrible heat we had all week finally broke, and it's beautiful out today!

So, for Quote It Saturday, I wanted to share another quote from our own Toni Bernhard's wonderful book, How To Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers.  This is actually a quote of a quote that Toni included in her book, in a chapter about letting go:

If you let go a little, you will have a little peace.  If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.  If you let go completely, you will have complete peace and freedom.  Your struggles with the world will have come to an end.

          - A Still Forest Pool by Ajahn Chah, a Thai Forest Monk

Letting go is something I could always use help with, as someone who was formerly used to always being in control.  Of course, CFS teaches us a lot about letting go, as we often have no control over our own bodies, but I still need plenty of help letting go emotionally.

This weekend, there is a second type of letting go that is on my mind:  parents letting kids grow up and go out on their own.  It was very difficult for Ken and I to let Jamie go on this weekend away with his friends.  I'm not sure he's ever managed two sleep-over nights in a row before, and I'm sure the kids will be very active down at the beach this weekend.  Jamie's energy and stamina have been low lately because of his Lyme treatment, and he was already feeling run-down yesterday from going to his first soccer practice Thursday evening. 

Despite all this, though, we let him go because it was so important to him.  I think all parents struggle with letting go and with giving up control over their kids, but when your child has a chronic illness, it's even harder.  I feel strongly, though, that my kids have to live their lives.  Although I want to protect them from doing too much and crashing, I know that sometimes they just have to go all out and pay the consequences...and I know they feel it's worth it.  Also, I am very grateful to my wonderful friends (mothers of Jamie's two best friends) who give my kids the opportunities to do things that I can't manage - they take him along on activity-filled days at the beach, snowboarding, and amusement parks.  I'm glad they can experience these things, in spite of our limitations.

So, I am letting go.  I'm hoping Jamie is having a great time with his friends, and I'm hoping he won't crash for too long afterward (they have Monday off, too, so he'll have a day to recover).  Craig is having two friends sleep over tonight - more letting go!  And I plan to take it easy this weekend and recover myself.

Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

P.S. Toni's book was released this week - you can read my review at my book blog.)
P.P.S.  If you like reading as much as I do, you might enjoy these two shows that aired on NPR yesterday, featuring two hot authors.)


  1. Hope your appointments went well yesterday.
    I like this quote and I needed it today myself. I am looking forward to Toni's book arriving next week.
    It is so hard to let our kids go...especially the first one. When they live with chronic illness it must be even more challenging, but you manage it well. You have such a great attitude about life.
    Hope you are able to enjoy the weekend....

  2. Hi Sue,

    Thanks so much for quoting from my book. I'll just add that one of the reasons I love that quotation is that it doesn't command me to let go all at once, something I'm not able to do. But I can usually let go (of something I'm clinging to) just a little...and that makes the next "letting go" a bit easier.

    I remember so well going through this with our kids as teenagers. We live a 25 minute freeway drive from Sacramento. When they got their driver's licenses, that was the big "letting go" for us -- when to let them drive to Sacramento instead of just around our town of Davis.

    I'm glad you've been able to let go...a little or a lot...confident that he's mature enough to handle the weekend.

    Rest up!

  3. I enjoyed reading about your week! Sounds kind of the same as mine, but different if you know what I mean. Different stuff, same crashes, same struggle.

    Hope it all went well at the Lyme doc and the kids enjoyed their weekend.

    Loved the quote too - ain't that the truth!

  4. I just read her book , too. Isn't it wonderful??

  5. Hi,

    I found your blog while searching for Toni's book 'how to be sick'. The quote you picked was beautiful, Ajahn Chah is one of my favorite Buddhist teachers.

    I have CFS too - so just thought I'd write a quick comment saying hi and wishing you and your family all the best. :)


  6. Hi, Emma, and welcome! There's a wonderfully supportive online community here and among the other CFS blogs - I hope you'll be a frequent visitor.

    From what you've said, I think you'll love Toni's book. Did you find your way to her website? It's at: